62 pestañas

We write in our other languages on Fridays!

Day 31 of 31 at TWT!

El último día de marzo. El treinta y uno. El último día del desafío. ¿Qué escribiré hoy?

Me siento un poco raro porque no escribí cada día. Tomé un descanso de ocho días durante la semana de las vacaciones de primavera, y aunque estoy contenta con esa decisión, me hace sentir un poco fuera de lugar hoy. No llevo conmigo ese sentido de ímpetu, de orgullo, de celebración. Por eso, no escribiré ni una reflexión ni una entrada de festejo, aunque sí estoy satisfecha con mi experiencia durante este desafío y las 23 entradas que he escrito. 

Tampoco quiero escribir un cuento corto de algo que me pasó hoy. No me faltan ideas posibles: 

Podría escribir del almuerzo especial cuando me reuní con mi hija mayor y mi esposo para comer juntos un camión de tacos en la escuela de la hija (que se encuentra al lado de la mía), y le introduje a ella a la riqueza del agua de jamaica, que a ella le gustó tanto que se lo tragó por completo y tuve que comprar otro para mí. (- ¡Es el mejor almuerzo que nunca! - proclamó ella varias veces.) 

Y podría escribir de nuestra noche de película, cuando vimos Tinker Bell: Secret of the Wings y las dos hijitas se conmovieron tanto cuando Tinker Bell y su hermana recién descubierta tuvieron que separarse que casi no podíamos continuar con la película. (- ¡No quiero separarme de Sis nunca! - gritó Arco Iris, brincando de una esquina al otro antes de esconder su rostro en mi regazo.)

O podría escribir de mi orgullo y regocijo cada viernes cuando veo la participación de varias personas en MultiLit Friday, y sé con certeza que he hecho algo especial, he marcado para siempre esta comunidad y las experiencias de estas personas, porque tuve la valentía de preguntar si podríamos ofrecer esta oportunidad de afirmar y honrar el multilingüismo cada semana.

Pero, no sé por qué, no me apetece por completo ninguna de estas ideas. Entonces, sin saber qué escribiré, abro mi ordenador. (¿el español de España otra vez, se notan? jaja) Abro Chrome, con mis pestañas tras pestañas de planes y actividades para mis estudiantes. Intento no mirar al trabajo que me queda, que me sobra, y abro otra ventana con mi cuenta personal. 

La ventana se abre en blanco. Sin pensar, abro Gmail y Blogger. Creo una entrada nueva, y, cómo no puedo decidir qué escribir, abro Two Writing Teachers. Quizás visitaré a las otras personas que han escrito algo para MultiFri, y escribiré una entrada sobre la alegría de leer sus entradas... me digo... cuando, de repente, me doy cuenta: ¡MIS PESTAÑAS! 

¡Ya debo tener abierto Two Writing Teachers en mis pestañas! ¡Y todas las entradas interesantes que quiero leer un día de estos! Me apresuro al historial, antes de que se limpie. 

Historial... busco rápidamente con los ojos la colección de pestañas... 62 pestañas. ¡Allí está! Antes de hacer clic, miro dos veces. ¡¿62 pestañas?! ¡¿Sesenta. y . dos. pestañas?! ¡¿SESENTA. Y DOS?! ?¿Realmente he dejado abierto sesenta y dos pestañas abiertas? Sé que tres son Gmail, Blogger, y Two Writing Teachers. Pero todas las demás son las entradas muy interesantes que he encontrado en la colección de enlaces cada día de marzo, y que me han sobrado después de visitar los tres que más he querido leer, dejando las otras por otro día - cuando tenga más tiempo-.  ¿Realmente he dejado pendiente 59 entradas para leer otro día, en mi optimismo eternal? Me río, casi a carcajadas. Sabía que tenía unas cuantas entradas que quería leer... pero... ¿sesenta y dos? Entrecierro los ojos y examino las pestañas. Además de las tres al principio, he dejado también mi blog con la entrada de ayer publicada, y al final, encuentro el tesauro. Pero, sí, las otras 57 son las entradas muy interesantes que leeré un día de estos. Me río otra vez. Cincuenta y siete entradas abiertas que me han sobrado después de dejar comentarios en tres entradas cada día de los veintidós que he escrito antes de hoy. 

Quiero calcular. Al menos 3 entradas leídos cada día (sé que a veces leí cuatro), por 22 días... son al menos 66 entradas de las que ya me he disfrutado... ¡y todavía me sobran 57! ¡Casi igual! ¡Me tomaría otro mes para leerlas, en vez de un día! Una carcajada sí me escapa ahora. 

Entonces, si no he dejado un comentario para ti en una entrada particularmente interesante, hay una posibilidad bastante buena que tu entrada se encuentra entre mis muchísimas pestañas. No sé si acabaré leyendo todas o si algún día decidiré darme por vencida y cerrarlas, pero sé una cosa con certeza: me encanta esta comunidad. 

Me encanta escribir con Uds. Me encanta leer lo que han escrito. Me encanta echar un vistazo a sus vidas y presentarles la mía. Me encanta notar las estrategias de escritura que han utilizado y jugar con las palabras, experimentado con lo que aprendido y dándome el reto de mejorar un poco cada vez que escribo.

 Y sobre todo, me encanta el apoyo y la amistad que he encontrado con Uds. 

¡Feliz fin de marzo! ¡Feliz día final! Feliz Multi-Lit Friday. Les veo los martes, vecinos, les prometo este año. 

(¡Mira, he escrito una celebración y una reflexión, después de todo!)

Slices of this day

Day 29 of 31 at TWT!

One of my favorite parts of the Slice of Life community is being inspired by other writers. Whether it's a unique craft move, a new format, or a story idea I connect to, I love discovering ways to improve as a writer, notice-r, thinker, and liver of life. 

A couple of days ago, I enjoyed Sherri's post, "On This Day". It was so much fun to see her dive back into her past writing to catch glimpses of her life, on one certain date, over the years she's been blogging. It was striking to consider the enormity of time passing, the differences in life moments and writing ideas from year to year, and the accomplishment of participating in this challenge for years. Immediately, I was excited to dive back into my own past slices across time and see what I might find!

11 years ago, I was nearing the end of my very first March Challenge, after slicing on Tuesdays for about 6 months prior. On March 29, I wrote the 3rd post in a series about a particular EL student, and when I first re-read this post, I couldn't figure out which student I had written about, because I thought I was teaching EL at the time, but the story didn't match any students I remembered from my years at the first building I taught EL. Suddenly, I realized that this story was written back when I was still a Spanish teacher, and I got to help out with EL students at one of my schools for one period. This was truly a lifetime ago. Right away, I rocketed through a time tunnel, and I could see this student perfectly. Her whole story came rushing back to me. Little did I know then that she was just the first of so many incredible EL students with inspiring resilience that I would have the pleasure of learning with, learning from, and yes, teaching. What an amazing girl. 

10 years ago, it was Spanish Friday, and I remembered watching the Good Friday processions in Spain years before. Now, I was teaching high school EL for the first year.

5 years ago, I skipped writing on this day, but the day before, I (ironically) wrote about writing when it's hard, and the day after, I wrote another Spanish Friday post about the processions. Now, I was an experienced EL teacher and a mom of 1, recovering from a year with two pregnancy losses and praying for a rainbow baby.

Last year, I wrote about spending time with the Afghan refugee family we met as part of our district's collaboration with a local refugee resettlement agency. Now, I was a mom of 2, living through a pandemic, teaching middle school EL for the first year after having taken a year off to keep my girls safe and healthy, and back to fully slicing every day in March.

This year, after having chosen to take a break from writing during my spring break, I'm enjoying the last few days of the challenge and looking forward to presenting the classroom challenge to my students. For the first time, I've gotten several colleagues to slice with me, and I happily churned away this afternoon pulling together my favorite resources for them to use if they decide to try the April challenge with their students. On my wrist, my new bracelet reminds me how sweet my girls are and how much I love them.

So many slices. And on them, cherished comments from blogging friends old and new. Such drastic change, and yet so many common threads. I love to teach. I love language. I love writing, even though it's hard. I love this slicing community. I love making a difference. And I love my family.

I can't wait to see what next year will bring.

Prefix power

Day 26 of 31 at TWT!

What's today's date, anyway?! 

I check my watch, recalling how many times I've asked myself the same question. 

Just like those other moments throughout the week, I feel a slight twinge of emotion when I remember that if I'd chosen to keep writing every day, I'd certainly know what the date was, and I'd be feeling that unique, lung-and-heart-filling exhilaration-replacing-exhaustion pride of a runner pounding into the last lap or rounding the last corner. 

I can't quite find the right word for whatever emotion it is that has come to me in these twinges. 

It's not guilt or regret; I've felt completely at peace throughout spring break with my choice to take a break from writing during this break from school. Even though I love to write, my brain and heart were nudging me to disconnect during spring break, and I'm filled with a deep sense of calm about my decision to not touch my laptop for the past 8 days.

It's not disappointment or defeat; I've completed the full challenge so many years now that I don't feel I have anything to prove to myself, especially because this break was a choice, not a matter of missing days because I couldn't write. 

It's not even quite a feeling of missing out; the timing of the break was perfect because I built up such great momentum for the first 17 days, and I know I can dip right back in to finish with a good stretch of 6 more in a row that will allow me to feel that rhythm of daily writing, commenting, and connecting. I even kept thinking like a writer in my 8 days "away", noticing potential slices and thinking about how I'd capture certain details, purposefully taking the kinds of photos I'd include in a slice.

It's more of a sense of disconnection, which, despite its many negative connotations, is not an entirely negative word. A little twinge of disconnection each time I realized I didn't know the date, knowing this community was still going, still writing, still commenting and connecting, without me. A much milder jolt of the surreal disconnection I felt when we'd visit Rainbow Girl in the NICU and time would just stop for us, although we knew the world was still going on outside. (That's a whole other post - or series of posts - on its own!) 

Though I didn't have that word in mind specifically, I suppose disconnection is really what I was going for when I decided last Saturday to just not write for the duration of my spring break: a real break. As much as I love to write, thinking about opening my laptop felt like a slippery slope to thinking about school, and as much as I love teaching, it felt right to disconnect from school during this break. No laptop, no writing, no reading school books or blogs or articles. No Girl Scout work either. Just a happier version of our NICU bubble: special family fun time for nine whole days. (Rainbow Girl, who is just starting to understand time, finally understood last week that spring break was going to be nine days of having me and Sis at home, and kept track of which day we were on throughout the break!)

This break feels like a demonstration of the power of prefixes: it's so easy to add and remove these small word parts to completely change the meaning. And having participated in the SOLSC for so many years, I feel so comfortable in the power of this experience and this community that it really felt that easy to customize this year's experience: to add, remove, and change a few letters around the central element of this challenge: connection. 

CONNECT with my writing life and friends new and old for 17 days in a row.

DISconnect for 8 days to connect with my family and the heart of my self, to rest, and to recharge.

RE-connect now, on the eve of returning to school, for 6 more days of writing and community. 

Like a row of Legos, Magna-tiles, or snapping blocks: click, connect, snap apart, rebuild. 

It fits just right.

Lo hice, lo estoy haciendo, lo haré

On Fridays, we write in our other languages!

Day 10 of 31 at TWT!

¡Ya estamos en el décimo día! Es casi imposible creer. Hace unas semanas, no sabía si podía participar este año. ¿De veras podía encontrar (mejor, crear) el tiempo para escribir al final de estos días tan llenos? ¿Me quedaría fuerza (mental o física) para escribir después de, por fin, acostar a mis hijas y sentarme en el sofá? Casi no me podía imaginarlo.

Pero quería hacerlo. Recordaba la emoción de escribir, el ánimo que me daba dejar volar mis palabras por los dedos, la alegría de pintar una escena con palabras, la claridad mental de buscar, darme cuenta de, y guardar los momentos pequeños de mi vida. Quería hacerlo otra vez. 

Me acordaba del entusiasmo de leer los comentarios de los otros escritores, tanto los amigos como los desconocidos. Sí, quería hacerlo. 

Y además, quería pedir a mis colegas que me acompañaren. Quería que ellos conocieran el poder de esta experiencia y esta comunidad, y quería inspirarles a quizás traer la experiencia a sus estudiantes también. Quería formar parte de un grupo de colegas escritores. 

Entonces lo hice. Rellené el formulario para participar, hablé con mis colegas, y me dediqué a escribir por las tardes en esta hora preciada antes de acostarme. Está bien perder unos días, me dije. Cada día que escribo es un día más de lo que habría escrito sin el reto. Anticipaba perder las fuerzas, quedarme sin tiempo, quedarme sin ideas. Quizás escribiré tres o cuatro días a la semana. 

Pero ya estamos en el décimo día, y no sabía qué escribir hoy... ¡no por una falta de ideas, sino por una sobra de ideas, por una cascada de ideas! (Y, si soy honesta, porque no me convine escribir unos en español: algunos por ser tan difíciles escribir en español, y otros porque quiero escribir conversaciones que tomaron lugar en inglés, y me siento raro traducir algo que pasó en inglés al español... entonces estos ideas guardo por otro día.)

Ya escribí por nueve días. Estoy un poco más cansada de lo habitual, pero sobrevivo. Estoy escribiendo en el décimo día. Y no quiero parar, ni modo. No quiero perder ni un día. Tengo demasiadas historias para contar, demasiados recuerdos para guardar. Me gusta demasiado el sentido de vivir como escritora. Seguiré escribiendo. 

Imagínense: 

casi no lo intenté. 

Y ahora lo hice, lo estoy haciendo, lo haré. 

Visiting the neighbors

 

Day 2 of 31 at TWT!

It's March! It's March! It's March!

Although I always mean to get back to Tuesday slicing, another year has somehow escaped me. But getting back into my blogging routine feels like coming home after too long away: a slight sense of wonder mixed with a comforting familiarity. Opening a new draft is like settling into my favorite spot on the couch. 

I scroll through the link-ups as if I'm strolling through a small town full of neighbors on their porches: 

Oh look, it's Beth! I remember when LeeAnn introduced us! "Hi, Beth!"

There's Kristen! So glad she moved into the neighborhood this year! It's so special to have a friend from school here now! "So glad you're here, Kristen!"

"Stacey, it's so good to see you! I hope your sweet kids are doing well!"

And there's Christen! We just met each other at a few meetings this year, but I'm excited to get to know her better now that she's here too! "Welcome to the neighborhood, Christen!"

And I thought I'd missed Rachel, but there she is now! It's so fun to see her at school and here! "See you tomorrow morning, Rachel!"

elsie's not here, too bad. She's probably out on one of her typical walks, snapping beautiful pictures to create her phoetry. I miss her. 

And things just haven't been the same since Linda moved out. She was so encouraging when I first moved in! At least we can still keep up with each other on Facebook!

But OMG, look, there's Deb!!! "Deb!!! Deb!!! Hiiiiii!!!" (frantic hand-waving) I haven't seen her in so long! I miss that sweet dog, Chloe, who used to sit with her. I don't really know her new dog, Sophie, much, but I can't wait to learn more about her!

And look, so many new neighbors! Maria seems nice, and she speaks Spanish and Spanglish just like me! "Bienvenida, María!"

And there's Alyssa, who already taught me something new right on her first day! "Welcome, Alyssa! Thank you for teaching us what a Pinay is!"

I circle back to wait on my own front porch, checking my email way-too-often to see who stops by to visit me. Oh yay! It's LeeAnn! I'll have to visit her tomorrow! I just love learning about her classroom.

It's so good to be home. 

The list

Day 15 of 31 at TWT!

 Hmm, what should I write about today? I try to start brainstorming in the tranquil 20 minutes between coming home and getting Sweetie from the bus stop, but no particular story is tugging at me today. 

Often during March (or on the rare Tuesdays that I actually remember it's Tuesday), a slice (or even 2 or 3!) will jump out at me sometime during the day: a special moment or beautiful scene that I consciously try to slow down and freeze as it happens, mentally rehearsing the details in an attempt to remember it as vividly as possible when I have the chance to sit down and write later. 

Other times, an idea has been sitting in my head for days or weeks, just waiting for the chance to be written. Or a past memory pops up, begging to be remembered in story form, perhaps ushered in by a song, picture, or other small occurrence in the day. 

Of course, there are always days (especially in mid-to-late March!) when I don't know what to write. Some days, I don't feel like writing. Other times, like today, I want to write, but when I toss ideas around, nothing feels quite right. 

That's why I have the Blog Ideas List, my faithful companion through these 11 (is it really 11?!) years of blogging. Once housed in Evernote, now just a Google Doc, my ever-growing list is a messy, living combination of bulleted topics, details I want to include in those topics, half-written sentences and paragraphs I don't want to forget, notes to myself that nobody else would understand (even some that take work for future me to decode!), and mentor text links to blog posts that inspire me or that I want to try to emulate someday. The slicing topics section is most extensive, but there are also sections for other posts I want to write about my teaching (in the mysterious someday in which I somehow have "more time", hahahahaha). 

And sometimes, like now, I set out to write one slice and discover that, as I travel the winding road of writing, another one writes itself instead, and what I thought was going to be an introduction is already an entire post. So I tweak the post title (if I've written one yet) and add another note to the list!

Living as a writer means an ever-growing list, just like living as a reader means an ever-growing to-read stack!

writing love

Day 3 of 31 at TWT!

 It's already after 8 p.m. I've done a little planning and sent a few emails, and it's a Thursday in that stretch of late winter where the weeks are long, the weather can't make up its mind, and spring break is still far away enough to feel truly distant. I might be a little too cozy in my hooded, fleece, footed onesie on our cushy microfiber couch. It would be so, so easy to just turn on the tv now and try to keep my heavy eyelids open for one show.

So why am I writing?

I love the March Challenge.

I love the community that has been built over time, and the way that even as it ebbs and flows, with old friends dropping off and new ones dipping their toes in, it's still somehow one community. I love "meeting" new people and "visiting" familiar friends as we share our stories. I love checking my Gmail app too often in anticipation of comments after I publish a post.

I love the nudge to try something that seems almost impossible, to push myself to rise to a challenge that, in the midst of teaching and momming and everything in between, seems nearly out of reach, yet enticing enough to try. 

I love that the challenge is not just to complete the writing, but to play at being a better writer, nurtured by such a diverse flood of mentor texts that all sparkle with possibility in their own ways: "Hey, try this!" "Ooh, look at that!" Formats, topics, layers of complexity, familiar and unfamiliar strategies woven together in unique ways. 

I love talking to my students about how I'm challenging myself and how I'm living like a writer, building anticipation for the April student challenge.

I love living like a writer, with story ideas swirling in my brain, constantly on the hunt to notice the tiniest details that might otherwise escape me.

I love knowing that all these little moments, thoughts, and feelings that would have otherwise faded into the mist of the mundane are captured, preserved, waiting for someday-me to click on tags and titles and be transported back to this snippet of time, to this exact version of me. 

I love playing with words. I love the feelings of my fingers dancing on the keyboard to catch the thoughts that tumble through my brain. I love reaching for just the right word or phrase, testing and saboreando different possibilities until I find the one that's just right, exacto, in one idioma or another. 

I love stepping back into the little-girl-me who snuck out of bed to scrawl poems in a notebook after the whole house was still, the me who kept a notepad and pen on the floor by my bed for middle-of-the-night epiphanies or words that jumped and scampered through my brain as shafts of moonlight sliced across my room.

I love writing. I love, love, love being a writer.

And I want everyone else to love it too. <3

Should I?

 

Day 1 of 31 at Two Writing Teachers!

March is here. 

So busy.

Too busy?

But I could make time.

I could finally conquer the art of the short post.

A 

SHORT 

post?

Right?

Make time for what's important.

Be a model for my students.

So tired.

Too tired?

But writing refuels me.

Feeling those words run and scamper

across my mind, through my fingers, out 

into the world.

Watching, listening, noticing every delicious detail:

living like a writer.

Writing what I live.

So stressed.

Too stressed?

But longing for connection and encouragement.

Remembering comments, slices, moments, 

friendships 

built with words and through screens

across miles

and even seas.

I could just 

skip it.

Wait 

for 

a better year.

So much going on,

in my life

and all 

around.

But so many reasons to dive in!

to tradition

to determination and persistence

to community

to life and memories

to a piece of myself.

March is here.

So glad to see you all. <3

A different 31 days

Whew! 31 days at TWT!

There's something exceptionally strange about the passage of time in a pandemic. Every day feels like a week, every week seems to drag on for a year, and yet, every month, I'm astonished to find that the calendar is changing again. Things that happened last week feel like they were months ago, but when I feel like surely I got that email or last texted that friend last week, it turns out that it's actually been a month or more!

Blogging every day for a month is always challenging (as proven by the fact that I haven't actually done it since 2016!), but just like everything in 2020 (see? how can it even be 2021 when every day since March 17, 2020 has been practically the same?), it felt very different this year.

Usually, the excitement of writing and connecting propels me forward on a wave of enthusiasm until at least mid-month, and I start to get stuck around the late teens or 20th day. This year, I felt exhausted at day 6 and wondered if I could really pull this off, then absolutely hit my stride mid-month and mostly cruised the rest of the way with just a couple of days where I was slightly, but not even really, tempted to not write.

Usually, my slices are a mix of classroom snapshots and family moments, with the occasional nature slice or reflection thrown in. This year, my posts were just like me, adrift in a sea of endless mom moments with no classroom in sight, with a couple of reflective posts thrown in.

Usually, I try to really work on my writing craft, trying new forms or gaining inspiration from others, and tapping into my poet side at least a couple of times. This year, it was all I could do to get a slice written each day, so I stuck to my typical writing style, trying hard to excel at the strategies I'm comfortable with, but not really trying anything new or anything in the least bit difficult (other than the hard work of slicing in Spanish on Fridays). However, I did push myself to include a song in each slice to celebrate my love of music and its power in my life. While some slices were about a song or included a song easily, there were others where it was a challenge to find the right song or artfully tie a song to my story. 

Usually, I have at least one day where I feel like I don't have any writing ideas, but this year (probably because I'd only written 4 posts in the past 2 years), my list of possible slices grew longer all month, and is currently sitting at 36 future slice ideas! (Looks like I have no excuses for slicing Tuesdays & Spanish Fridays!) I wasn't even sure I wanted to try the challenge this year, and now I can't believe I missed so many Tuesdays over the past months. (Truly, there were many days I realized on Wednesday that the previous day had been Tuesday, resolved to try the next week, and promptly proceeded to forget again. There were also plenty of Tuesdays I just decided I was too tired or writing was too much work, of course.)

Usually, I'd look for Linda's posts about nature or her family, Deb's posts about her dog (RIP, Chloe!), elsie's walks, and LeeAnn's amazing teaching ideas. This year, for the first time, most of my original slicing friends are either no longer slicing at all, or not slicing every day. I had fun welcoming new slicers and falling in love with stories and writing styles I'd never "met" before, but it felt very strange to navigate this challenge without the people who lifted me through so many others. (However, the fact that many of them continued to comment on my posts or like them on social media reinforced the special bond we've formed. They're not slicing friends now, they're... friends!)

Usually, slicing in Spanish on Fridays was something I did by myself, for myself. This year, I realized it could be so much more, and I'm so grateful to the TWT team for embracing my #MultiFri idea! It was incredible to read and listen to slices in so many different languages, to stretch my Spanish by engaging with native Spanish-speakers, to see language learners and heritage speakers engaging with their linguistic identities, to read other slices written in English but reflecting on the impact of world languages in their lives, and to just bask in the celebration of multilingualism, while embracing the pride that comes with knowing that my ideas matter. 

Usually, I talk up my blogging journey with my students as I prepare them for the student challenge in April. Now, I miss them. I miss designing mini-lessons to show them the power of their words and the beauty of crafting those words in impactful ways. I miss sharing my writing with them and seeing them change the way they see me, then seeing the spark in their eyes when they realize that they, too, could be writers, storytellers, even poets. I miss the connections we form through reading each other's slices and commenting, the way this challenge strengthens a classroom community, even this late in the year. I miss sharing their blogs with my colleagues and seeing the way my students' eyes light up when they receive a comment from their math teacher or guidance counselor, as well as the way those colleagues are impacted by my students' stories and writing styles. This year, I will carve out more time to support the participating classrooms with comments that note where I'm from, remembering how much my students loved knowing they were getting comments from teachers and students in faraway places.

It's a different year, for sure. But despite all the challenges we're all facing, different isn't always bad. After all, here we are, 31 days after I almost decided not to participate, with new (and still old) friends, a new way to highlight multilingualism, an overabundance of ideas to propel me forward, 31 very unique moments captured (including so many family memories to savor), a lot of reflection about the role of music in my life, and an aliveness in my heart reminding me that yes, I am a writer. 

I did it!!!

Magical words

Day 13 of 31 at TWT!

As soon as I push the play button, Sweetie's eyes pop open so wide that I'm reminded of gazing into them when she was a baby. Her mouth drops open with upturned corners in a cavernous amazed-smile as Terje's lyrical Estonian pours out of my phone. 

"It sounds like Spanish!"

"No, it's totally different," I chuckle. "That's just because you only know a little bit of Spanish right now. It just sounds like a language you don't understand!" 

"Is this the list of names?" she's remembering my quick recap of some of the multilingual slices when I was so excited at dinnertime. 

"No, that's the Farsi one! We'll listen to that next. This is Estonian. She's describing the fierce wind and thinking about spring coming soon."

Her mouth is still slightly agape when it ends, so I ask if she wants to listen again, and she nods. 

Rainbow Girl toddles over. "Can I see that?" 

"There's nothing to see, but we can listen. It's Estonian, from the country of Estonia." I push the replay button, and we all let Terje's rolling words wash over us. This is sooooo coool. 

"Now can we do the Farsi one?" 

"Of course!" I find Nawal's slice and hold my phone down so they can see. "Look, she wrote the Farsi words with our letters, then down here, she wrote in Farsi with Arabic letters! They go from right to left, so they'd read them this way." I slide my finger across my phone. "Isn't it beautiful?" We look at the picture too, then I press the play button and Nawal's voice jumps into our family room. I try to follow along and notice the beginning of the list of terms of endearment. "Here! This is the list of sweet names!" 

When Nawal stops reading in Farsi, I pause the audio and read the list in English. "These are things they say to show they love each other, like how Meemaw calls me 'Sweet Pea' or we call you "Sweetie" and your sister 'Sweetie Pie,' 'Honey Bun,' and 'Snuggle Bunny'!" 

We all giggle at "my liver", and Sweetie shrieks at "fire in my belly". "That's silly!" she cackles. 

"I like it!" I reply, thinking of all the different facets of love, and how well this list reflects them.

"Light of my eye" is my favorite, and when Nawal says it in Farsi, I immediately notice that it contains "noor", the Arabic word for light, even though I didn't notice that when I was reading the words! I remember my former student Noorulhuda's slice about her name, years ago. I love linguistic crossovers, like all the Arabic-rooted words in Spanish, and I wonder how close Farsi and Arabic are.

I'm usually a reader who prefers not to listen to audio, but there's something absolutely magical about hearing these writers' voices giving us access to the way their words are supposed to sound. 

I love that my girls are so interested in languages, and it's so special for them to hear these two that we don't have many opportunities to hear! I think I've only had one Estonian student and two Iranian students, and I remember them as we listen to their special languages here in our home on a beautiful Friday night.

I think of how both girls have learned to sing in Samoan and Tokelauan when we listen to "We Know the Way" in the car, and how we read about those languages when we learned the song, intrigued by what we were hearing, and further intrigued by Opetaia Foa'i's choice to include both languages in the song. And I think of the English lyrics: "at night we name every star / we know where we are / we know who we are..."

Knowing another language is more than having two sets of labels for a given concept. The words we use are who we are. Each language lives in us with the experiences that brought it into our hearts. I'm so grateful for these bloggers for sharing their words, these pieces of who they are, with us. And I'm in awe that I helped make this happen.

¿Creo en mi?

Day 12 of 31 at TWT!

Every Friday!

(I write in Spanish on Fridays. If you don't read Spanish, feel free to paste this post's url into Google Translate, and you can get a peek at how machine translation comes out!)

Me escapa el aire cuando se actualiza la página. 

- ¡Lo hicieron! ¡Hay varias entradas! ¡Y utilizaron la imagen! -

Relajan los músculos tensos que no notaba. Recupero el aliento. Me sonrío. 

Animada, echo un vistazo a los nombres, las descripciones, las pequeñas vistas previas de cada entrada. ¡Varias en español, una farsi, otra estonia! ¡Tengo tantas ganas de leer cada uno! Los músculos vuelven a ponerse tensos, pero del entusiasmo en cambio del estrés. Casi me río, pero de alegría, no por algo chistoso. 

Aunque en verdad, hay algo un poco chistoso aquí: mis dudas de la semana pasada. 

Casi no envié el correo electrónico a Stacey con el idea del Viernes Multilingüe. ¿Y qué pasa si a ella no le gusta el idea? (¡Gracias por el apoyo y el idea del Padlet, Stacey!)

Sudaba y temblaba de ansiedad cuando hablé con Betsy por Zoom para desarrollar un plan. ¿Y si mis ideas le parecen tontos? ¿Y si no le gusta el hashtag? ¿Y si...? (¡Gracias por la amabilidad y las ganas de poner todo en práctica, Betsy!)

Aún después de tanto apoyo, seguía con dudas. ¿Y si la imagen le parece ridícula? ¿Y si no quiere participar nadie? ¿Y si...?

Primero, unos correos electrónicos de gente que sí, tenían interés en escribir una entrada en otro idioma. Comentarios en el ejemplar mío en mi blog. Un comentario en Twitter por la mañana. Y en el Padlet, ¡entradas en español, farsi, y estonio! ¡Con la imagen que diseñé! ¡Lo hicieron! ¡Lo están haciendo! ¡Le gustan el idea! ¡Estamos escribiendo en nuestros idiomas adicionales! 

¡Ahora no tengo que escribir en español los viernes yo sólo, solita, después de la pérdida del Spanish Friday de antes! 

Estamos disfrutando, practicando, aprendiendo, demostrando. Estamos exponiendo otra parte importante de nuestros corazones. Estamos reluciendo en la belleza de los idiomas. Juntos. 

Y lo empecé. Porque tengo ideas buenas. Porque puedo empezar cosas asombrosas. Y debo creer en mí. 

(Esta canción tiene una importancia especial para mi, no sólo por las letras hermosas y poderosas, sino porque la aprendí de una estudiante mía como parte del último proyecto grande que dio a mi clase de principiantes durante la primavera de la pandemia, el mayo pasado.)

Hold us together

Day 3 of 31 at TWT!

"Welcome to the community!" "It's an incredible experience!" "I'm so excited for you!" "This is an amazing community!" "You're going to love it!" As I hopped around the posts of anyone who'd said they a first-time Slicer, I found myself repeating the same phrases: not out of laziness, but because I was overcome with excitement for what awaited these new Slicers. It was like Christmas Eve, waiting for my girls to discover their presents the next morning. 

Some of them were absolute first-time bloggers whose nervous posts brought me right back to the jittery feeling of hovering my mouse over the "publish" button for the first time, way back in August of 2011. "YOU ARE AWESOME AND THE WORLD NEEDS YOUR AWESOME IDEAS!" I wanted to shout to them. (I toned it down and did not, in fact, actually shout in any of my comments to them. But I did say "So glad you wrote!" and "Glad you're here!" lots of times.)

Some of them had already been blogging but never sliced here, or never participated in the March challenge. "IT'S GOING TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE!" I wanted to shout to these bloggers. (I restrained myself again and told them instead how much they'd grow as writers, or how they'd learn to think like writers and capture small moments to treasure.)

Most of all, I wanted to absolutely screech to all of them, "MEET YOUR NEW FRIENDS! GET READY TO BE AFFIRMED!!!" (Instead, I found myself repeating variations of "incredible community" over and over.) Because more than anything else, it's the loving, encouraging community that Ruth and Stacey built so long ago that makes this challenge so exceptional. (It's driving me crazy that I can't find a better word for "community", but it's the only one that really fits!) I kept wanting to write "place" even though a group of strangers from around the world sending words through their computers is not a place. But that's exactly the thing: it feels like a place. It feels like local coffeeshops or bars must feel to people who like them. It feels like a neighborhood cookout or block party. It feels like sitting on your front porch or your back deck with a good friend and a glass of lemonade. 

Why? Because the expectation of leaving comments for at least 3 other writers creates an instant network. Because so many veteran slicers have poured true love into those comments for years, celebrating craft moves while appreciating the heart of the message and strengthening connections over time. 

Because once you've received a comment that slices straight into your heart, making you feel seen as a writer and a human, you can't wait to start leaving the same kinds of comments for others. 

As I mentioned in my post on Monday, it would've been so much easier to skip this year. But the community made me want to come back. Especially this year, after everything that we've all been through.

Because as this song, which my church played at our first virtual service in March of last year, says: 

"Love will hold us together,
make us a shelter to weather the storm,
and I'll be my brother's keeper
so the whole world will know that we're not alone..."

It was the perfect song choice for that first Sunday of separation and fear. 

And it's the perfect song to capture the Slice of Life community. I wouldn't have kept blogging if nobody was responding to my posts. I wouldn't be the writer or teacher I am now if I hadn't kept blogging. The bloggers who first welcomed me are now my Facebook friends. We've been through so many significant moments in our lives together, even though we've never met in person. It really is love that holds us together, and I'm so excited for these new Slicers to know that they're not alone.

Songs in my head and heart

Day 2 of 31 at TWT!

"Hum a little, Marion!" That's what my mom has always said when she catches me humming unknowingly, since my great-grandmother apparently also hummed all the time. Husband loves to catch me at it, since he knows it means I'm happy, and now even my daughters have started to giggle when they point it out and realize I didn't know. I can't help it; there's always a song in my head, and they sometimes leak out, usually without me realizing it!

Almost anyone who has met me knows that I was a member of The Ohio State University Marching Band for five years, since that’s almost always the “interesting fact” I share about myself when I meet people. When I studied Spanish in school, I loved the songs my teachers shared with us so much that 20 years later, my phone still has a significant number of songs by Maná. Between those passions and my faith, my brain (and phone) are full of such a variety of songs that you never know if Jarabe de Palo, Chicago, Avicii, Kenny Chesney, or Hillsong will leak out!

For my first five years of teaching Spanish to elementary and middle school students, songs were an essential part of my lesson plans. When I sing "Vengan a Ver Mi Granja" to my baby girl in the rocking chair now, I'm always transported back to holding up labeled animal pictures in front of a classroom full of eager kids, reveling at their joy as they realized that animals don't "say" the same things in every language! And when my girls asked to "the fishy song" ("Los peces en el río") throughout December, I kept remembering the pride and joy on a young Latina student's face as she screeched out to the class, "We sing this at my church!!!"

Looking back on all that music, it’s surprising to realize that once I started teaching high school EL students, music abruptly disappeared from my classroom. It’s not that I meant to do away with it; it just fell away as I dramatically shifted my teaching from “learning a language is fun!” to “oh my goodness, these kids have to survive in biology class and pass graduation tests!” Suddenly, I was trying to implement reading and writing workshop, facilitate academic discussions, and inspire students to be more active learners with goal-setting and reflection techniques. I’d hear my world language colleagues using music down the hall and smile (while adding Lasso to my phone), but it didn’t seem to fit in with my teaching anymore. 

A few years ago, Christopher Lehman came to my district’s Literacy Conference and walked us through analyzing a song (I think it was “Roar” by Katy Perry) using close-reading techniques. I thought, “How cool, to use music like poetry!” and added the idea to my ever-percolating lesson bank, where it sat unused because… I didn’t know any pop songs? I was too overwhelmed to go on a search for the right songs? I was afraid I’d pick a song and the kids would hate it? I had plenty of poems I liked to use already? I got too busy with other things and mostly forgot?

Whatever the reason, music was mostly absent from my EL classroom until I had an epiphany while studying Zaretta Hammond's Culturally Responsive Teaching and the Brain. Song study became a powerful routine for my beginner ELs, and music filled our classroom for several months last year... until, of course, we all left our classroom, without knowing we'd never return.

In this long, strange year at home, music has become one of our family's definitive joys. Ever since we discovered that Laurie Berkner had started streaming live-from-her-living-room mini-concerts last March, we've treasured a daily half-hour routine of dancing and singing to our favorite songs on Facebook Live or YouTube. We've built playlists for when Laurie's not live, and both girls love picking out which songs we'll sing, dance, and snuggle along to every day. As soon as we finish our calendar routine, baby girl shrieks, "Laurie!" and any tension in the day flows away as we enjoy church songs, Spanish songs, Disney songs, Daniel Tiger songs, school songs, Christmas songs (yes, even after Three Kings' Day was over, don't judge!) and of course, Laurie favorites.

Riding their unicorns while singing along to "Candy Cane Jane"! <3

So when I started to seriously decide that yes, I could do the March Slice of Life Challenge this year, music floated its way into my brain. What if I tied a favorite song into each slice? It could be a powerful way to honor music's special place in my heart; after all, it would probably occupy an equal space to reading and writing in my heart map. Plus, connecting a song to a daily story could be both a challenge, a way to combat writer's block, and a new twist to help me get more excited to really try to write for a month, something I haven't done in several years. My heart jumps just thinking of all the songs I love that have stories to tell, and all the stories that I could connect to a song!
I'll consider the songs I mentioned & playlists I linked above as today's "song" (ok, it's a whole bunch of songs and I'm breaking this format before I've even started it, but it seems fitting for this intro post!), but I hope you'll enjoy my songs-with-stories and stories-with-songs over the next month!

Still March Again

Day 1 of 31 at TWT!

March. For so many years, this month meant one thing: blogging! 

Writing, writing, and writing some more. Pouring my pumping heart and whirling head onto the page with the same fire from when I was a kid sneaking out of bed to write poems at night. 

Living like a writer. Celebrating the small moments of my life. Scouring my world for writing ideas. Opening my eyes to everyday beauty and joy. Pushing through fatigue and idea-block. Sitting down to write "just a short post" and blinking my eyes back into the world after pushing "publish" an hour later. Trying to figure out if I can truly write a short post. The little burst of satisfaction that still comes with each push of that "publish" button, even after almost 10 years. The big rush of pride after blogging for 31 days in a row. The sense of relief and yet disappointment when April came.

And not just writing, but connecting. Visiting those old slicing friends who first encouraged me with their comments every Tuesday. Linda, elsie, Deb, Ruth, Stacey... each click feels just like sitting down to dinner with a treasured friend, even though we've never met in person. Remembering what made their comments flow into my heart and fuel me, trying to pass that joy and love back to them and on to others. She uses my name... she points out my craft moves... she remembers my life from my other posts... she connects my story to her life... she encourages me... she makes me feel seen. So much light and love, all those Marches and all those Tuesdays.

Of course, becoming a mom meant those hours just weren't always there! Sometimes, I found them anyway. Other times, the month-long challenge became a whatever-I-could-squeeze-in challenge. A not-perfect challenge that was somehow perfect for this perfectionist. Still writing, still connecting, more than I otherwise would have. Except in 2017, when life was just too hard, and in 2019, the most beautiful year of my life, when becoming a mom of two (in quite dramatic fashion... that story is still in my drafts!) took literally everything I had. 

2020 was going to be my year to get back to my roots, to start blogging and reading and exercising and... yeah, we all know how March of 2020 went. 

March. New words used in new ways: virus, pandemic, social distance, remote... 

Suddenly a full-time mom to 2 kids under 5 all day (with nowhere to go!), squeezing something that vaguely resembled being a teacher into every other minute of my now-extended day. Days and hours and weeks and months slid into each other, overlapping and colliding in a strange haze of exhaustion-rage-perseverance. It's been March ever since, hasn't it?

And somehow, it's still March again now...?! 

It's been creeping up on the calendar for awhile now. I saw it looming and knew this choice was coming. How could it be March again, when it's been March since before time warped? 

How could I write? Pandemic fatigue, frustration, disappointment, exhaustion. There's no way. It would be better to sit this one out. No added stress. 

And yet, how could I not write? The community of old Marches, when March just meant blogging and not the end of the world as we knew it, tugged at me. Visiting. Commenting. Connecting. Isn't connection what we've all been craving through this endless March? And it wouldn't be impossible now that I'm home for the year. No recording screencasts two hours after my bedtime, scrambling to distract the girls with some toy long enough to reply to a student question, or scheduling meetings during Husband's lunch break. Still tired, still stuck, still feeling all the feelings, but I do have the time now. And maybe this March, a taste of old Marches is just what I need. 

After all, it's still... March. Again! 

Love these writers

Tuesdays at Two Writing Teachers!

Flop. I can't help fiddling with the stack of coarse, creamy, cottony paper in my hands. My fingers relish the gravity and richness of the weight and texture. I love the way this paper feels. Flipping through the pages, I feel the pull of colors: the bold orange Classroom Slice of Life Challenge logo and the vivid, swift blue strokes of my signature and my principal's signature. I love the joy of honoring my students with something special. 

"It's time for the 2018 Slice of Life Awards!" All around the meeting area, eager eyes meet mine and bodies lean forward. "I had so much fun this weekend looking at the results of your voting! And just like A. suggested, this year's certificates are signed by our principal, and he was really excited about your writing!"

My mind flits back to the several days last week we spent submitting award nominations and the final voting on Friday. The sweet silence of engaged readers carefully considering their classmates' writing, broken periodically by whispers (and sometimes not-so-whispers) of "I didn't know you wrote about Omar Mokhtar!" or "Psst, read 'My First Pet'!"

Category checklist on the nomination form. We dedicate a couple of class days at the beginning of April just for visiting classmates' posts, leaving comments, and nominating. Each time they want to make a nomination, students submit this quick form with post title, author, as many of these boxes as they want to select, and a short justification for why that post deserves to win an award. (I have my own ideas of which posts should be up for voting too, but they usually nominate almost all of those, plus some I might not have thought of!)

Some of the explanations in their responses. Very thoughtful, right?

On final voting day, excited whispers and focused silence were also broken by occasional shrieks of "Someone put MY post on there!" and "How am I supposed to choose?!"

Part of the final voting form, made by linking the best 3-5 nominations in each category. We spend one day of class on this final voting, where students must pick one response per category. 

Final results for a couple of categories. Google Forms make it so easy! :-)

I hop a little as the certificates strain to jump out of my hands. "There were so many incredible posts that I know many of you had trouble choosing, and some categories came out quite close. There were even a couple ties! Our first category was "Most Entertaining Post, and I know we all had a lot of fun reading M.'s story about getting stuck on the Space Mountain roller coaster!"

M.'s eyes widen and he sits up straight in his seat. He beams as 22 pairs of hands clap thunderously and I hand him the certificate.

"And of course, we were all laughing as we imagined little A. driving his family's car without permission!"

Giggles all around as A.'s mouth hangs open. "I won?!" His fingers brush the smooth certificate. "Thanks for getting the principal to sign them!"

His reluctance to apply writing strategies has frustrated me all year, and this story was one of his only attempts to truly incorporate a variety of techniques we've learned. I'm so glad his classmates recognized it, and I hope this gives him momentum!

"G.'s strong vocabulary and unique descriptions really helped us feeling how traveling can change our lives... We were all astounded by C's bravery and use of contrast to create strong emotions in his post about his dad... Z. constantly pushed himself to try new things, from poetry to embedding videos..." Goosebumps sprout on my skin as we relive this poignant, powerful month of growth and community.

So much to celebrate! (I forgot to take pictures of the real ones, so here are screenshots!)

Smiles, shining eyes, knowing nods, and real, enthusiastic applause.

My heart wants to float out of my body. I love this day. I love the March Challenge. 
I love these writers. 

Just right challenge

It's Day 31 at TWT!

I used to think

it wouldn't be worth it
if I wasn't perfect.

Wasn't that the point?

To write
every
day?

To post 31 slices in 31 days?

To live as a writer
every
day?

To push myself,
to make room for writing,
to jump in over my head,
to tackle a daunting challenge
and win?

But when I wasn't perfect
anymore,
I still grew.

Some writing
is better
than none.

If it pushes you,
it's a challenge.

Other people are not you.
Their measuring stick is not your measuring stick.
If it's truly everything you can do right now,
the best version of you is only compared to you.

I tell my kids to read "just right" books.
I tell them to shoot for attainable goals.
I'm not giving up on running
just because I'll never run a marathon or a 4-minute mile.

If it pushes you,
it's a challenge.

4 days a week.
20 posts in 31 days.

Carving out every possible slice
between teaching, running, reading,
friendship, faith, love,
toddler songs, stickers, swinging, sliding, climbing,
and responding to slices of my students' incredible lives.

Widening my view and narrowing my focus,
sparking ideas and spinning words
preserving precious moments
and exploring churning thoughts.
Grounding myself in the truths I know
and reaching to rise in new ways.

Pushing the balance
without tipping too far.

If it pushes you,
it's a challenge.

4 days a week.
20 posts in 31 days:
my "just-right" challenge
for this year,
for this me,
achieved.

Wrestling with writing

Day 28 of 31 at TWT!

I didn't feel like writing tonight.

Part of the beauty and necessity of writing when you are a teacher of writers is grappling with that feeling and realizing what it means to overcome it. I love writing. I may struggle with other parts of my identity, but I'm undoubtably a writer.

And if I, a writer, sometimes don't feel like writing, how much stronger and more frequent must that feeling be for students who don't see themselves as writers? If I, a writer, must sometimes dig deep, battle the voice that just wants to read or watch tv, and drag myself onto the blank screen to wrestle with writing as work (instead of joyful word play or an inspired flow of ideas), how much deeper must they have to dig? How much harder is their battle? How much more like work does it seem to them?

In my class, we do so much work with reflection and goal-setting. At this point in the year, my students have set goals, imagined outcomes, anticipated obstacles, made plans to overcome them, and reflected on their progress so often that those routines practically run themselves, especially with the help of my squad leaders. (In fact, we could be in danger of losing meaningfulness to monotony, but I hope those ideas become habits they internalize and use throughout their lives.) But that emotional battle of choosing discipline over default, of making yourself do the work even especially when you don't feel like it, of taking the conscious step to stare your obstacles in the face and force yourself to use one of your plans... that's the real key. There's nothing that I could possibly teach them that could be more important than how to chase their dreams with the relentless ferocity required to beat back the voice in each of our heads that tempts us to give up, give in, or just take the easy way out.

Usually, when I don't feel like writing, it's because I'm overly tired or "out of ideas". Tonight, I'm worn out but I have plenty of ideas... I just don't feel like writing about any of them! Squads in my class? I have 3 separate drafts already started about that, but I don't feel like diving into that on Spring Break. Running? I've been writing about that a lot lately. Sweetie? Ditto. Way too much. The hard stories? Nope. Not those. Not ready yet. Maybe not ever. Certainly not on Spring Break. Friendship? Two drafts sitting about that too, but I'm just not feeling the one, and the other is for farther down the road, if ever. 

Increasingly discouraged, I scroll through my list of slicing ideas. Everyday moments, special memories, a post based on a mentor post I've saved? Ehhhhhh.

I could write about not wanting to write... Been there, done that. But it could be fun... But I've done it. More than once! But I could put a different twist on it! And really, it's so good to reflect on that feeling for my kids! Maybe. It IS the biggest thing I'm feeling right now...

I start to go through my blogging routine: open a draft, go to the call for slices, drop the image in, add the tags I know I'm going to use. These familiar motions are like stretches before running. My brain is warming up to the idea of writing. I could focus on the teacher perspective. Ooh, and I could tie it into R-Factor! I could link to those old posts about this feeling...

I dive into my "writing" tag, looking for a couple of old posts I know I wrote a few years ago. My brain snaps awake as I realize there are more than I thought: an inner battle from not being prepared, a reflection on persistence, my two conflicting voices, and writing even when it's tough. And sprinkled in between, so many joy-filled posts celebrating the power of writing and how much I love it. Aw, I forgot about that! I almost get lost down a wormhole of rediscovering pieces of myself that I'd forgotten, and end up just closing the tab with the tag before I end up past bedtime with a half-finished post.

Over an hour later, I realize that I've somehow found my way to the writing zone: adding and revising sections, using the thesaurus, playing with formatting, body tense and eyebrows furrowed as my fingers try to keep up with my flying thoughts. How did I get here? By talking myself into sitting down to write. By reminding myself what I'd gain if I did. By choosing not to listen to the easy way out. By starting to go through the motions that would lead to writing. By doing the work.

I want my students to wrestle and win, too. With writing, with schoolwork, with life. This is why I write, why I teach, and why I open myself up as an example to them.