Woven together

Day 28 of 31 at TWT!

"How did I do last night?" Rainbow Girl, nestled in my arms, looks up at me expectantly. 

"I was just going to tell you how great you did!" I make sure my voice is extra enthusiastic. "You talked for just a little bit, and then you went right to sleep!" (Lately, she's been talking and playing in her bed for over an hour after we put her down, and we've been trying to get it back down to a more reasonable amount of time.) I gently lay her in her toddler bed and pull up her covers around her. Leaning closer, I loud-whisper, "I think your new Mama-love bracelet helped!"

She nods vigorously, pulling her wrist up to her face and wrapping her other arm around it. "It kissed me! The Mama-love bracelet kissed me in the night! And hugggggged me!" Her big eyes crinkle in the duskiness. "And I kissed and hugged it!" She smushes her wrist against her cheek and squeezes it with her other arm. 

Her eyes fly open wide and she half-sits up. "Can I kiss yourrrrs?"

"Of course! I would love that, Sweetie Pie!" I pat her head.

Moonlight glints off the tiny bronze heart bead as I extend my wrist towards her face, and I remember how she'd pointed out the shine yesterday afternoon when I surprised her and Sis with these matching bracelets. ("The heart is GOLD! It will SHINE in the dark!") Her tiny hands grasp my arm and tug it against her as she sweetly smooches my bracelet over and over. 

"Mama love!" she sighs, and I slowly back my way out of her room after one last huggle, waving the "I love you" hand sign and blowing kisses like every night.

As I close her door, I glance at the pink strands on my wrist, just as I did often throughout school today. I picture the way she squealed and kissed her bracelet as soon as I pulled them out of the bag after school yesterday, the way she keeps announcing, "It's waterproof! Coo-wohl, right?" every time she washed her hands, and the way she carefully pulled up her sleeve just enough for the bracelet to peek out at bedtime. I remember her big sister happily declaring, "These bracelets are perfect, Mommy!" after school today. 

I bought them so the girls would feel connected to me and each other through the last couple of months of school after spring break, but I'm sure feeling the magic in mine too. 

Hearts sometimes apart

but always connected still,

 woven together.

<3 <3 <3

Surprise magic

Day 12 of 31 at TWT!

Clatter! Bam! Rustle. 

I'm about to groggily tell Rainbow Girl to stop messing with our blinds when she screeches, "SNOW!!!"

"What?" I force my eyes open. She's pulled our honeycomb blinds above her head and her whole body is pressed against the window. 

"CAN WE PLAY IN IT?!" Her voice rises to a squeal.

"I don't know if there's enough to play in..." I remember seeing a chance of snow overnight, but I figured it would just be a few flurries.

"THERE IS! IT'S ALL WHITE!!!" Sweetie scampers over to join her at the window. 

I reluctantly break my cocoon of flannel sheets and raise myself up on an elbow. My view is blurry without my glasses, but the porch roof does appear to be covered in a significant amount of white. I love snow, but I really wanted to sleep in today. "Is the grass covered?" 

"YEAH! It's poking up a little, but it's mostly covered!!!" Sweetie declares triumphantly.

I sit up farther and start to pull myself out of bed. The street is black, but otherwise, the world is dusted in fluffy white powder. This is only our 3rd snow this year, and while the last one stayed for more than a week of building huge snow forts and snowmen, it was way back in early January. "Ok, let's eat breakfast, so we can play!"

"YAY!!!!" The girls peel themselves off the window and dart down the hall. 

By the time we finally get going, get all our layers on, and get outside, the gentle layer of snow is aready melting fast. But it's there! 

We scurry up our small hill and fly down on Sleddy and Sir Sleddy (as our orange and green sleds have been christened this winter, respectively). 

I love when Sis helps her get started on Sleddy!

We scoop up snowballs and lob them at each other. The girls use Sleddy and Sir Sleddy to fortify the swing set for a proper snowball fight.

They fling themselves on the ground and flail their arms to make very wet, rather green snow angels. 

"Who wants to help me make a tiny, melty snowman?" I call. 

They scamper over, and we roll three very globby balls to stick together. 

"He needs arms!" Sweetie squeals, and they race up the hill towards the woods to grab sticks, nearly sliding back down on the slippery, mushy snow. They gently place the sticks in his body, and Sweetie pushes two rocks on his face for eyes. 

"What should we name him?" I ask. 

"Cutey!!!" Rainbow Girl declares. 

"Aw, Cutey is a nice name!"

She trots off to the deck, where the snow is not as melty, and begins patting down a slab. "I'm gonna make him a bed!" She gets slightly upset when she tries to pick up the bed and can't, but I'm able to get my mittens mostly under it, breaking it only a little, and smash it back together. I hand it to her, and she carries it over to him, setting it gently beside him. 

"Ooh, he'll love sleeping in that!" 

"Yeah!" Sweetie declares. "He's magic!" She firmly believes that the book Snowmen at Night (given to us by one of her teachers a few years ago) is non-fiction, and that's fine with us. We're going to keep all the magic alive as long as we can. 

Rainbow Girl showing Cutey his "bed" before putting it down beside him. <3

Next, the girls make up a game where they smush snow-globs onto sticks to create imaginary roasted marshmallows. Rainbow Girl feeds her marshmallows to Sleddy, while Sweetie strives to create a marshmallow so giant that she has to get a second stick to hold it up. 

When we've enjoyed almost all the remaining snow-mush, we get ready to head inside for some hot chocolate and lunch. "Do you want to give Cutey a goodbye pat?" I ask Rainbow Girl. 

She pads over to him and tenderly pats him on the head with a pink mitten, then bends down and kisses the top of his head. 

There will be other mornings to sleep in. It's better to catch this magic while we can.

Dreams down the road

Day 11 of 31 at TWT!

"A hat! Meemaw, look! I see a big hat!" Rainbow Girl has been quietly bundled in her seat, buried in a blanket, but now that the parade is finally approaching us, she's piping up with excited narration. 

"Do you think Daddy could wear that hat?" my mom replies.

"Noooo!!! That's a balloon hat, Meemaw!" she cackles from underneath the Nemo hat that used to belong to her big sister. 

I remember her sister a few years ago in that same hat, pointing out the same sights and sounds with the same cheerful observations. Now, Sis is somewhere up the road, clad in her Irish dance school's parade sweats, dancing down the street with her friends. 

"I hope I get a Cowtail!" Rainbow Girl declares, peering ahead for candy buckets and bags. The parade participants grin and giggle as they toss candy onto her lap: a little mountain of huddled blanket with an adorable head peeking out. 

"Are there gonna be the stilt walkers? Where's the stilt walkers?"

Suddenly, we hear the strains of Irish music and catch glimpses of green sweat jackets. "Look! Sis is coming! Let's look for Sis!"

Dancers bounce and glide back and forth across the street, scissoring this way and that in their "sevens" reel step. I remember seeing Sis learn her sevens back and forth across our living room when her classes were on Zoom, and now she's doing it down the same street where I walked with my Daisy friends and marched with my high school band.

It's almost dizzying to try to find Sweetie's blonde hair and pink mask in the sea of dancers weaving among each other. Finally, I spot her pink mask and blonde hair, eyes crinkled in her biggest smile as her pointed toes cross and hop. 

"Sis!!!! Sis!!!" we all yell, waving wildly.

Her eyes widen, she breaks free of her fellow dancers' hands, and she dashes over to us, blue eyes aglow with joy. She gives Rainbow Girl a big high five, just like she'd declared in the van that she wanted to, then scampers back into formation, blonde hair flying. 

"When I'm dancing in the parade, I'll come give you a high five!" she'd promised Rainbow Girl before we dropped her off at the parade starting area. We'd tried to explain that she might not be able to do that, but she made it happen!

Grabbing her friends' hands again and resuming her sevens, she cranes her neck around to keep gazing back at us, eyes still crinkled in that characteristic smile that I'm so known for. She looks ecstatic.

 The stilt performers come striding by, and we marvel at their coordination. "There they are!" Rainbow Girl squeals. Sis meets us back at our seats, and the last marching band plays "Hang on Sloopy," a song they both love. Rainbow Girl screeches with delight.

"I'm probably going to end up being in more parades than you, Mommy!" Sis declares afterwards, as Rainbow Girl clutches her little fist around the Cowtail candy she did indeed get. 

"That's true!" I smile, and whisper to Husband to swing by McDonald's like my parents always did for me. All those years of marching band in high school and college, but she's already performing at 7 years old! Aside from that year our Girl Scout troop walked, I was just watching parades at this age!

"Who wants Shamrock Shakes after the parade?" I turn to the back seat. 

"MEEEEE!" They both yell in chorus. "SHAMROCK SHAKES!" 

It'll be so much fun to see what dreams keep coming true down this road.

When I look at this

Day 8 of 31 at TWT!

I'm standing in my doorway overlooking the sea of 8th graders at class change, feeling like a piece of coral buffeted by strong currents and (very) large fish (with very large backpacks!), when I feel the gentle buzz on my wrist. There's still a couple minutes before class starts, so I pull my arm up and sneak a peek: it's a text from our nanny with a picture. 

Quickly, I tap and scroll down, glad that my new watch lets me take a quick look without pulling out my phone. It's a piece of construction paper covered in colored dots, with a message below: "Rainbow Girl said 'when I look at this, I see my mommy because I love her!'"

My heart feels as if it's flying up out of my chest, through the ceiling, out of my school, and down the street to our house just across the neighborhood to give my sweet Mama's girl a hug. 

My students walk in, and I greet them by name. We read together, play a speaking game together, and write together. We laugh together, and I really enjoy my time with them. One does his best work of probably the entire school year, and I end the day by telling him over and over how proud I am of him.

But when the bell rings, I can't wait to get home to see my sweetie pie who loves me so much that she saw me in a craft of colored dots she made. There's a new text from the nanny: "She made special love cards for everyone in her family! <3" 

She's asleep when Sis and I get home, but in just a few minutes, the door to her room slowly creaks open. She timidly peeks out, and her eyes crinkle into her brightest smile when she sees me. "Mama!" she coos down, peering through the banister of the great room "bridge". 

"Mia said you were thinking of Mama today when you looked at your craft!" 

She nods silently but sweetly, still a little groggy, a long braid sliding up and down her shoulder. 

"I was thinking of you too!" I blow a kiss upstairs as I wash my hands. "And she said you made some love cards for everyone in our family?"

"Yeah!!!" Her excitement gets her skipping and yelling. "For you! And there's one for you, Sissy!" She points enthusiastically down at her big sister. "And Daddy! And grandparents too!" She's frolicking in the upstairs hallway now, bouncing as I scurry up the stairs. 

"I can't wait to see them!" I scoop her up and give her a kiss. Her tiny arms wrap around me and she snuggles her little head into my shoulder as I carry her back downstairs. 

At the bottom, she wriggles down my hip and scampers over to the kitchen table, grabbing a pile of light blue papers. "I think I remember which one is yours!" 

So much love! <3

She digs through the pile. "Happy Love Day!" she declares as she hands mine to me, and I wonder if they watched that episode of Daniel Tiger or read the book today.

"And LOOK! Sissy! This is YOURS!" 

It's upside down, but you can see where she wrote the letters of her name (top left)!

She waves another paper at her big sis, who pulls her into a hug, and croons, "You wrote your name!!! I love it! Thank you, Sweetie Pie!"

Next, she adds a drawing of "our family" to my page, declaring first that the dots will be our sidewalk, then deciding instead that we're resting on cloud pillows. I can't wait to take it to school and hang it in my classroom, knowing that "when I look at this, I['ll] see [her]. Because I love her." <3

My finished "love card"! <3 Don't you love the way she draws people with all their little appendages sticking out??? 

What sisters make

Day 7 of 31 at TWT!

As soon as the narrow back hallway from my school to Sweetie's school opens up into the wide brightness of her cafeteria, I spot her blonde hair and pink mask bouncing towards me. I'm excited to talk to her about the author visit they had today, but then I notice something multicolored in her hand. 

"It's my puffmobile!" she declares. "We built them today, but I haven't tested it out yet! My friend's went really far though!" 

I'm about to ask what a puffmobile even is when I notice her little sister's name on it. And a rainbow. And, as I look more closely, a bunny (her sister's favorite animal). "You decorated it for Rainbow Girl?!"

"It's a sisters' puffmobile!" she announces proudly. "One side is for her and one side is for me! Her side has a rainbow and a bunny, and my side has a sunshine and a unicorn! And I wrote 'sisters are the best of friends' on it!"

So much love, at school, when her sister wasn't even with her! Such careful detail to show what's special about each of them! My heart is soaring. I imagine her hunched over her desk, surrounded by her classmates and the hubbub of school, working so hard to think about her little sister's favorite things and to make this special representation of their love for each other, completely unprompted. "I love it, Sweetie! She'll love it so much! I can't wait for her to see it when you get home!"

Sisters really do make the best of friends, just like the words on a shirt I bought her when she became a big sister. I love that's she's internalized that phrase, and that they both live it every day. 

Sweet exchange

Day 5 of 31 at TWT!

Ding-dong-ding-dong-ding-dong-ding! The doorbell rings wildly. 

Silly geese! I'm almost ready! I roll my eyes, knowing that on the porch, one or both of my daughters is pushing their pointer finger(s) repeatedly on the doorbell button while playing outside with my husband. I told them I'd be out in just a minute!

Then, I hear it. 

The faint tinkling of cheesy canned music. 

Do-do-do-do-do-do-dooo-do, do-do-do-do-do-do-doooo-do...

THE ICE CREAM TRUCK!!!!!

THAT'S why they rang the doorbell! 

I spring into action, almost falling down in my attempt to pull on my shoes while leaping across the room while sprinting towards the stairs. I skid to a halt in the downstairs hallway to grab Sweetie's Brownie sash and the boxes of cookies we just sorted out for Mr. Ray today, grinning as I remember a few weeks ago when he so kindly bought from us. 

--

It had been another gorgeous, sunny, unseasonably warm day for February in Ohio. Sweetie and I had been out delivering the first round of Girl Scout cookies to our neighbors when we'd heard that same magic sound: that tinkly music that only means one thing. She'd sprinted down the sidewalk of the street we were walking down, but we hadn't needed to hurry: so many neighbors were excited to have a February visit from the ice cream truck that we had to wait our turn! 

Since we are one of his best customers, he knew we weren't at our house, and we'd explained that we were out delivering cookies, as I frantically texted my husband, "ICE CREAM TRUCK! WE'LL TELL HIM TO STOP AT YOU!"

"I don't suppose you have any extras?" he'd said with a slow smile.

"We can get some! There's another round of sales!" Sweetie was bouncing with the double excitement of the ice cream truck and a possible cookie sale. 

"Oh, well then show me what you have!" He reached out his window, and she handed him her clipboard.

OMG, are we really selling cookies to the ice cream man?! I thought this had to be one of the most unique sales in the history of Girl Scouts. "You can just write, Mr. Ray, ice cream truck!" I clarified to make sure he didn't feel like he had to give us his phone number or address. 

He laughed his deep laugh. "Yeah, yeah, okay. So I'll take some of them coconut ones, and... hmm, what are those? Lemon?" He asked us questions and ordered 4 boxes while exchanging money and ice cream bars with our neighbors, then got me my usual Creamsicle and took Sweetie's order for a cotton candy pop. "You just save those cookies for me and we'll see how the weather goes, ok?"

"Make sure you stop at our house now!" I told him. "Her little sister is still asleep, but her dad will get her something to eat later!"

"A Tweetie Bird!" Sweetie chimed in. 

"Of course, of course!" Mr. Ray grinned. 

"ICE CREAM TRUCK COMING NOW! Sis says to get Rainbow a Tweetie Bird bar!" I texted Husband.

We waved at Mr. Ray, and he honked as he headed down the street. "It's like we traded!" she squealed. "We got ice cream and he's getting cookies!" She skipped and pranced back to the part of the sidewalk where we'd left our cookie delivery cart, and we opened our packages, savoring the sweetness of tangy ice cream bars while warm sun rays gently trick us into believing it wasn't February. 

--

Now, just a few weeks later, it's almost as warm, and the sun is shining just as bright. I burst through the front door, Brownie sash and cookies in hand. Rainbow Girl is galloping around the driveway with her unicorn bubble blower. When she sees me, she screeches, "MOMMY! THE ICE CREAM TRUCK!" She hops up and down, pointing down the street. Then, a little more calmly, she adds, "He's playing my favorite song!" and beams her sweetest smile. 

"I know!" I giggle as Sweetie comes careening around the corner of the house with an identical bubble blower. "Good thing we sorted out his cookies today! I guess we didn't have to save them for long!"

Mr. Ray slows to a stop as he approaches our house. "Come here, little Brownie!" he calls up the driveway, and Sweetie skips up to his truck, proudly holding out his cookies. 

<3

Our ice cream is sweet, but having such a friendly ice cream man is even sweeter!

My rear view

Day 1 of 31 at TWT!

 "I love riding on the back of your bike!" Rainbow Girl chirps as I wriggle the bike seat straps over her head and pop on her pink flowered helmet. 

I twist myself back to face the front of my bike, grab the handlebars firmly, and glance to see her sweet smile in the rearview mirror as I push a foot against the pedal. 

"It's like it's just you and me and Sis," she sighs contentedly behind me.

My eyes widen to take in the clear blue sky that stretches in front of us, beckoning us up the long hill out of our neighborhood. My lungs expand to gulp deep breaths of spring-sweet fresh air. The world seems to simultaneously stretch out infinitely far around us and shrink to freeze us in our own moving bubble as we soar up the hill and into the meadow, leaving behind the chatter of kids playing and neighbors exchanging small talk. Just you and me and Sis. I watch her big sister pedaling mightily in front of me, blonde hair flying past her waist, then peek at the rearview mirror to the little sweetie pie. She's right. Time stands still in our gliding bubble, just us darting down the path, gently floating into each wider scene for just a moment and then zipping past. 

The straight path begins to swing and wind. 

The sun turns more deeply gold each minute.

Insects whirr. 

Birds twitter and warble.

Around one bend, chorus frogs hum and trill. 

"I love riding bikes with you!" Sis whips her head around to call back to us, then churns her legs faster again. 

"I love riding bikes with you too!" I call forward, then sneak another glimpse of Rainbow in the mirror. Blue eyes wide, brown hair blowing, dainty hands gripping the front bar of her seat delicately. Someday, too soon, she'll be out in front on her own bike, little legs churning right beside her big sister. This bike ride merges with all our past bike rides in my head, and I feel her baby feet pushing against my back, her baby voice saying "weeeee!" the whole way, her toddler voice sing-songing "Over in the Meadow" behind me. 

"I want to have a pink bike!" she pipes up suddenly. 

"Yeah, you can have a pink bike someday!" I reply. I can almost see her out in front of me. She'll be so cute. They'll be so cute together. 

But first, I'm going to soak up every moment of her little voice in my ear and her wiggles behind me. Because these moments in my rear view mirror will one day be behind us.

<3

New words, new connections

Day 31 of 31 at TWT!

When I pull into a parking place, the 12 year old shyly waves out their front window and I laugh as the 3 year old starts jumping up and down. Someone opens the door and I put my hand over my heart, grinning. "Salam Alaikum!" 

"Hello ma'am!" "Salam!" "Hello!"

I take off my shoes and settle on the couch, knowing that hot tea and a plate of nuts and dates is coming. It's familiar and cozy. "The other day, my 3 year old said she wanted to go to Afghanistan again sometime!" 

The oldest son interrupts me and they all shake their heads. "Oh no, not go to Afghanistan!"

I giggle. "She meant coming here! She loves visiting your family!" 

They laugh, eyes wide. "Ohhhh, THIS Afghanistan! Yes!" 

We all laugh together, and I think back to my first time visiting them. It might as well have been a real trip to Afghanistan! I'm so used to working with my EL students from around the world at school, but a visit to the apartment of a family I'd never met, from a culture I was not familiar with, was a whole different exprerience.

-

Salam alaikum. Name man Jennifer ast. Salam alaikum. Name man Jennifer ast. Noticing too late that I was sweating, I turned down the car heater despite the frigid temperatures outside. Don't point with the finger; use a whole hand. Take off my shoes. Eat anything they offer. Salam alaikum. Name man Jennifer ast. I'd spent most of the morning studying the Afghan cultural information and Dari phrases included in our Welcome Team materials, and I didn't want to forget it all on the drive across town to meet the family! I tried to remind myself who all the family members were too, but I found I'd already forgotten most of the unfamiliar names from our spreadsheet. 

I took a few deep breaths as I pulled up to the address and put on my mask. Curtains at the front window swung around and some curious faces peered out above a couch. Salam alaikum. Name man Jennifer ast. 

Grabbing the bags of masks and kids' art supplies, I started to knock tentatively when the door swung open.

"Salam alaikum!" I put my hand over my heart just as I'd practiced. 

Their faces lit up as their hands went over their hearts too. "Salam alaikum!" "Salam!" "Hello!" 

"Please, ma'am, sit." They motioned to the couch with open hands and I sat. 

"Name..." Now I wasn't sure if I remembered it right. "...man... Jennifer... ast...?"

"OHHH! You speak Dari?!?!" Their eyes flew open wide. 

"Oh, no, just a little," I held up pinched fingers, "for you!" 

"Oh, very good! Very good!" So many wide smiles and bright eyes. 

"Look, tomorrow is a special American holiday about love. I brought crafts!" I started digging out craft supplies that were snatched by small fingers before I could even finish explaining. Suddenly, I looked down at my feet. Oh no, I forgot to take off my shoes! I scrambled back to the doorway to shed them on the doormat. 

Digging back in the bag, I found Sweetie's example Valentine card. "Here, my daughter made this for you!" I showed them a picture of Sweetie and pointed back at the card. "This is what we can make together!" 

"Ohhhh, beautiful!" "Very good!" They crowded around as the dad, who knows the most English, exclaimed, "She write 'I love you!'"

"Yes! It's a holiday about love and friends!" 

He put his hands over his heart. "Oh, beautiful!" 

The 12 year old and 6 year old immediately dove into the supplies and started making their own cards, then handed them to me. "For your daughter!" they declared proudly.

They asked their dad to write their names on their cards, and as he streaked the smooth lines of Dari across, he asked "Your daughter name?" When I told him, he wrote it in Dari too, then painstakingly formed the English letters "i lov you" in the middle. 

"You are CRIS volunteer?" the dad asked as the kids colored and cut.

"Yes, I'm a teacher with some of the other volunteers you've met before."

"Ohhh teacher, very good! In Afghanistan, my job is help American soldiers. We love Americans, very nice. So we come here with SIV. I am so..." He paused, searching for a word, then just put both hands over his heart with gratitude shining in his eyes, "... to America for bring my family here."

Suddenly, the door swung open again and their cousin, who has lived in America for several years, entered. "Salam alaikum!" I put my hand over my heart again, and she smiled. 

In the flurry of Dari and pointing at me and the cards that ensued, I could clearly catch that they were explaining that I'd spoken to them in Dari and brought the craft supplies. "I love you!" popped up interspersed with Dari as the dad proudly pointed to the card Sweetie had made for them. 

By the time I left several hours later, there was a whole pile of cards to take home to my girls, and my whole family was invited for a special meal the next night. "Tascha kor! Tascha kor!" Thank you was certainly the most important phrase to learn when spending time with this amazingly sweet family.

When we're together

Day 30 of 31 at TWT!

 "Maybe this is a new family tradition!" I lean forward at my two sweet girls as they share a shamrock seat and nibble chicken nuggets from a flower table. The not-quite-setting sun casts a golden glow on their faces as an astonishingly warm breeze tosses their soft hair (one blonde, one brown). 

"A tradition?!" Rainbow Girl's eyes light up. "Like Olaf and Anna and Elsa at Christmas?" 

"That's right!" I giggle. "A tradition is just something that we like to do again and again!" I scoop refreshing Frosty into my mouth. And I think we really like eating Wendy's at this playground!" 

<3 <3

Sweetie plants a kiss on her little sister's head and they both laugh. When they finish eating, they scamper off to play some more on the unique structures; Rainbow heads for the gigantic outdoor xylophones while her big sis uses brute arm strength to hang-climb up some inclined parallel bars, then turns around to sit on top of them and slide back down again. Sweetie climbs the large dirt mound with an embedded slide while Rainbow floppily runs to the mini city, clambering onto the red fire truck climbing structure and running in and out of the little buildings, pretending to buy items at the market and take them home to the little house.

I just breathe the spring air in and out. It smells like hope. While we had flurries of snow just a few days ago, this Spring Break day is a hint that summer isn't far away at all. 

One of our new favorite songs from that Frozen Christmas special that Rainbow was thinking of pops into my head. "When we're together, it's a holiday every night... when we're together, it's my favorite time of year!"

Shouting out 'Hooray!'

Day 28 of 31 at TWT!

 "What're you turning on the TV for?" Rainbow Girl cranes her neck from her spot crouched on the floor, playing with the VTech Smart Animals set affectionately known in our house as "Kitty and Baba's house". 

"Oh, there's something special I'm hoping we can see today..." I grin.

"What is it? What is it? What is it?" Sweetie starts leaping around the family room, and Rainbow soon imitates her. 

I just smile and find the right place to click on the tv's YouTube app until the event pops up... with a preview picture of someone very special! 

"LAURIE!!!!" Both girls squeal and jump as if they're seeing a best friend or favorite family member. 

The countdown timer appears, and after yelling, "church!" because it's the same one our church uses before online services, they excitedly count down as they prance around the room. ("Is it church?" Rainbow Girl keeps interjecting, and I keep reassuring her, "It's just the same countdown as church. It's gonna be Laurie!")

"5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0..." Bouncing curls, bright eyes, a smile that seems to tell even me that everything is going to be ok, and a guitar appear, and it's spring of 2020 and 2 years of rocking chair snuggles all at once as Laurie Berkner launches into the song that's become our special lullaby, "When I Woke Up Today". Rainbow runs around the room for a verse and then scrambles onto my lap as if she can't decide if it's better to dance or cuddle to this song. "I shouted out 'hooray'! / 'cause I knew I'd see you..." I pull her close as I coo into her ear, "and we could sing together..."

Just like we've seen her do for 2 years now, Laurie looks straight into the camera after the song, telling us to grab our instruments and stuffed animals, seeming to talk right to us in that Mr. Rodgers-esque measured, caring way. Even I forget that she can't actually see us; her conversational tone is so authentic. It truly feels as if an old friend is visiting us as we notice the new decorations in her house and watch her tune her guitar, take sips of water, and dance around her family room as we frolic around ours.

blanket-monsters for the "Monster Boogie" today!

I can't believe it's been 2 years. Rainbow has grown from a sitting baby flailing her "Laurie shake-shake" to a preschooler who can actually jump along with "Chipmunk at the Gas Pump". We've curated our own playlists to enjoy when the daily Lives stopped and eagerly celebrated the release of new music videos. Sweetie has gone from finishing preschool remotely to thriving in person in 1st grade.

so little in spring 2020!

a quick dance break with their daddy in summer 2020!

When I see Laurie's smile, I remember how Rainbow gradually stopped crying as Laurie put on her mask at the end of every Facebook Live in spring 2020; how that simple act helped her understand that Laurie was still Laurie in a mask and by the time we actually started needing to wear masks, it was no big deal. I remember the guaranteed half hour of joy each day when the stress and weight of the pandemic lifted away as we danced and wiggled around this room and listened to Laurie tell us we were superheroes and she loved us. I remember the delight of learning fun new songs and the familiar comfort of classics we already knew. I remember stuffed animals on our heads, becoming goldfish and dinosaurs and monsters, and grabbing Husband out of the den to blast off Rocketship-Sweetie into the air while I lifted Rainbow-Rocketship beside her. I remember scooping up 1yo Rainbow to fly her around like a bumblebee. I remember the magical excitement of Laurie saying the girls' names or playing requested songs we put in the chat. I remember dragging all our our pool toys into house for the virtual beach concert and wearing our costumes for the Halloween one. I remember the way both girls' faces absolutely lit up every single time Laurie appeared on our TV, and the way Rainbow would grab favorite toys and run up to the TV to show Laurie, convinced that she could really see us. I remember both sisters running wildly around the house with their toy guitars, "Laurie shake-shake" (tambourine), toy Harry the Chipmunk, and superhero blanket-capes.

Most of all, I remember having something certain to look forward to when the days dragged into weeks and months, and hope turned into uncertainty, monotony, and frustration. And I remember, as we noticed small changes in Laurie's room, saw her dial in other bandmates from their houses across the miles, and watched her overcome technical challenges and learn new digital tricks, feeling like we were really in this together.

So on a much-too-frigid-to-be-outside, still-not-safe-from-Covid-indoors first day of Spring Break, there was truly "no better thing to do / than sing a song and hear you sing it too" with Laurie. Thank you, Laurie, for your concerts in our house these past 2 years. Someday, we hope to see you in person.

Rainbow, now 3, holding her own animal for "Pig on Head"!

The best sisters

Day 27 of 31 at TWT!

 "I wanna eat at the craft table!" Rainbow Girl scampers over to the white plastic table and pulls out a pink chair. "With YOU, Sis!"

Grabbing her Minnie Mouse plate and unicorn cup from the big table, Sweetie heads over to sit with her little sister. I remember how she loved that table when she was a toddler, and now she has to scrunch and squeeze to fit. 

After rummaging in the pantry for my own lunch, I'm met with a sweet surprise: instead of each sitting on one side of the craft table like usual, both girls are huddled beside each other on the same side of the tiny table. "Aww, are you sitting right beside each other?" I scurry over to take a picture before one of them decides the other is too far in her space. 

"You're the best sister in the world..." Sweetie puts an arm around her little sister and starts crooning the song she made up when Rainbow Girl was a baby. Rainbow leans against her shoulder and grabs her hand. 

<3

When Sis finishes, Rainbow adopts her declarative reading / announcing / performing voice and starts singing the same song loudly back. "...you're the best sister in the world / come here, Sissy, / and give me a hug and kiss... / I love you, Sissy!"

Sis leans her face almost-too-close, gazing and grinning with wide blue eyes that glitter. 

"Aw, look, she loves the song you made up for her!" I remember how my heart swelled when Sweetie first made it up, how I thought it was a one-time thing that she'd forget, and how she kept singing it to her baby sister for months. And now here's Rainbow, not a baby anymore, singing it back. 

The best sisters in the world.

Marrying

Day 26 of 31 at TWT!

(a slice from earlier this week; it's freezing cold today!)

"Mommy, marry me!" Rainbow Girl giggles in my ear as I carry her away from the playground after an afternoon of too much fun in unseasonably warm weather. It's already past bedtime on a school night, but it was so hard to leave the park with 70-degree-weather in March!

Behind us on the sidewalk, her exhausted big sister has convinced Husband to carry her to the car too, gangly legs and wiry arms wrapped around him as she croon-whines, "Daddy, I LOVE you! MARRY me!" Always a Daddy's Girl, Sis must have already said this once as she begged him to pick her up, and that must be what prompted Rainbow, my mama's girl, to say it now.

"Ok!" I squeeze Rainbow closer. "I promise to love you forever and ever!" I rub her nose with mine. 

"Is that MARRYING?!" she squeals, giggling more. 

A few steps back, I can hear Husband protesting, "I'm already your daddy! We're already a family!"

"Yes, Honey Bun!" I reply to Rainbow. "Well, and we have to kiss!" I gaze into her blue eyes and plant an exaggerated smooch on her face just as she opens her mouth in a loud cackle. 

"I love you oh so much, Sweetie Pie!" I whisper in her ear. She flops into my shoulder, super snuggly now. 

"Mama Pie," she mumbles, wiggling against me. 

One daddy's girl and one mama's girl. One family so full of love. Yep, that's marrying! <3

Nuestro arco iris

(I write in Spanish on Fridays. If you don't read Spanish, feel free to experience the magic (and imperfection) of machine translation by pasting this post's url into Google Translate! And if you can write in a language other than English, join me next Friday!)

Write in another language on Fridays!

Day 25 of 31 at TWT!

- ¡Está lloviendo! - con las piernas y los brazos rígidos, mi hija de tres años señala con el dedito. 

¿Lloviendo? Veo las gotas en la madera afuera a la vez que noto la luz anaranjada de unas rayas del sol. Salto de la mesa de inmediato y corro hacia la ventana. Sí, allí está. -¡Un arco iris! - grito, corriendo de vuelta a la mesa para sacarle a mi hijita de su silla mientras su hermana cruza conmigo, corriendo hacia la ventana.

Llevo a mi hijita a la puerta de vidrio y asomamos a ver el arco pintado en el cielo. -Wow- suspira ella. Nos quedamos un rato observando los colores suspendidos en el cielo como si un niño los hubiera dibujado en las nubes. Detrás de nosotras, mi esposo saca unas fotos de nuestra Hijita Arcoiris mirando al arco iris.

anoche <3

La abrazo y siento el peso de su cuerpito en la cadera. Inclino la cabeza hacia la suya y la beso. Cierro los ojos por un instante. Mi arco iris. 

Su hermana mayor la toma de la mano. Mi esposo me mira fijo. Las lágrimas, la desesperación, la mezcla de terror y esperanza, las oraciones. La gratitud. Nuestro arco iris. Nuestro regalo de Dios, nuestro recordatorio de la promesa que Dios nos guarda, nos cuida, nos ama, a pesar de las tormentas de la vida en la tierra. 

La lluvia y el sol. Las nubes oscuras y las rayas brillantes. El llanto y el gozo. La promesa antigua que la vida en la tierra continuará. 

Sé que hay tantas familias que no recibirán ningún arco iris. Que a veces el dolor no se alivia en esta vida. 

Pero también sé que los milagros sí existen. Me aferro a uno en los brazos mientras observamos la belleza de otro en el cielo.

el verano pasado, señalando con el dedito (y su conejito favorito) <3

 

- He puesto mi arco iris en las nubes, y servirá como señal de la alianza que hago con la tierra. Gen 9:13

Classroom joy

Day 24 of 31 at TWT!

 "Teacher!" 5 minutes before the first bell rings, the Mexican twin boys from my 3rd period class burst into my room, springy curls flopping on their heads as each playfully tries to block the other from entering. "We're going to do something special today, right? It's our last day to see you before break!" 

I giggle and raise my eyebrows. "I thought we could play... Go Fish!"

"YEAH! GO FISH!!! That's special!!!" They jostle each other some more and scamper happily down the hallway. 

It's funny how classes develop their own personalities. Last time I was a teacher, the year that never really ended, I had a class that LOVED Bingo. Tough high school boys, constantly begging to play Bingo! They cracked me up. This year, my students enjoy Bingo well enough, but they love, love, love Go Fish! It doesn't matter how recently we've played; almost every time I see them, at least one student asks "Can we play Go Fish today?"

So when 3rd period starts, after we go through our beginning of class routines, I give them a choice. "Do you want to play 2 different games, or do you want to play Go Fish for a long time?" 

The Mexican boys nearly knock over their chairs. One flops himself over the table. "GO FISH!"

I glance at the quiet Chinese and Korean girls. "What do you think?"

"Go Fish!" they each quietly nod.

We head over to the round table, I deal out a set of emotions vocabulary cards I made from our recent unit featuring Dr. Marc Brackett's MoodMeter, and we start to play. "Let's start with the green set; since some of you want to relax over break, we'll practice our calm, good-feeling words first. Then we can play again with the yellow set since many of you are excited for break!" 

One boy is already stuffing cards up his sleeve. "We see you hiding those cards, R!" We all laugh. 

By the time it's her turn, the timid girl from Hong Kong's usually placid face transforms into one of her rare grins under her mask. "L, do you have..." she pauses a second for dramatic effect, "...serene?!" Her eyes twinkle as she asks one of the rambunctious boys for a card he'd just asked someone else for. 

"¡La racha empieza!" his brother yells out.

"Oh yeah, watch out, she's on a roll again!" I call in English to let the others in on the joke. Somehow, that girl almost always ends up hitting lucky streaks, usually several times a game. (We play that if you get the card you asked for, you get to ask again right away.)

More eyes twinkle. Cards come in and out of sleeves and hoodie pockets. Cards are jokingly withheld and then handed over at the last second. There's table pounding, smirking, shouting, shrieking, and bursts of laughter. 

This class playing with a sight words set in the fall.

There's also lots and lots of using English confidently! There are newcomers reading, listening to, and speaking words like "tranquil" (green round) and "ecstatic" (yellow round) with little hesitation. We might all stop for a particularly tricky work like "enthusiastic" and say it together before continuing the game, or I might quickly interject a reminder like "Remember, 'motivated' is when you're excited to work hard to reach a goal! It's pretty high on the MoodMeter!" 

Students in another class playing with the yellow feelings set.

We're having fun, learning, together.

Learning <=> Community <=> Joy. <3

The missing spark

Day 22 of 31 at TWT!

 "I will make her a new test!" The long-term sub hops quirkily and claps his hands together, eyes bright.

Inside my mask, my mouth is probably a funny combination of hanging open and stretching into a wide grin. He'd walked over to hover at my shoulder as I reviewed my student's practice quizzes with her, and I'd just asked what the real test would be like: would it have long matching sections with words like the one practice quiz, or might it have more pictures like the other?

"Oh wow, thank you, that would be amazing!" I sputter. I've been waiting all year for this to happen with several other colleagues, and just weeks after taking over the class, he's literally jumping to do it. As a sub.

"Yes, yes, I will make her her own test, with not so many words!" He scampers to his desk to grab a sticky note and scurries back to our table.

"Oh thank you so much! That will be wonderful! Some of these element/compound pictures with the little colored circles would be great, and you could also have a picture showing a container with an object inside, and arrows pointing to label the densities of the liquid and the object..." I have to make sure I'm not talking too fast in my excitement about his enthusiasm. I absolutely LOVE collaborating with colleagues to help them better meet their ELs' needs, and it has been harder at this new school than I'd hoped. "... if you make it in a Google Doc, share it with me and I can add some suggestions! Or I can check back in with you the next morning I'm here!" 

"Yes, I can do that! I will make it this weekend and share it with you! I will adjust to your notes! Then she can show her learning without so many words!" 

I lean into my student's ear. "Mr. R is going to make you a new test! It will have more pictures and not so many words. So don't worry!" I know she gets so anxious about tests. "We will work together to make it better for you!"

She nods as imperceptibly as ever, but I see a tiny glimmer of relief in her eyes. 

As the students file out of class, I go back up to his desk. "I really, really appreciate your enthusiasm for making a modified EL test! I'm so excited to work together to help her show her learning better!"

His smile is huge as he nods vigorously. "Yes! I have to! I have to differentiate!" 

I grin. "Yes, absolutely... but not everybody does." The discouragement of my hopes for the year washes through my mind. "Thank you so, so much for caring about our EL students!" I'm so grateful I could fly and cry at the same time.

When he sends me his draft over the weekend, it's even better than I expected. He used a couple other strategies that I would have recommended but hadn't even mentioned yet. I suggest a few wording simplifications and tell him what a great job he did, adding, "Could I use this as an example of an excellent modified test to show colleagues?" 

This could be the missing spark: a model of ownership, enthusiasm, and eagerness to adapt. I can't wait to get the ball rolling.

Yummy air

Day 21 of 31 at TWT!

 "Sister Time!" Rainbow Girl squeals as I buckle my seat belt. 

"I'm getting it on, just a second!" I swipe to start their playlist and back out of the driveway, pausing to open the moon roof as soon as we're out into the dazzling sunshine (and clear of the possible threat of spiders falling into the car from the garage roof... something that has never happened but always occurs to me!). 

The sunshine streams into the car and our bare arms soak up the warmth as if they've been thirsty for it all winter. The girls sing along in the backseat: "Sister, sister, sister time!", and the breeze playfully flips and whips our hair around as we head down the road to one of our favorite parks.

When I turn the corner out of our neighborhood onto a road with a higher speed limit, the wind whooshes into the car, tossing our long hair with more powerful tugs. Rainbow says something, but I can't quite hear her over the wind and music. I glance into the rearview mirror to see her still-light-as-baby's-hair flowing straight out from her head as she lets out a whooping cackle. 

As I roll the windows up just enough to make the gusts more pleasant than overpowering, she loudly proclaims, "This air is yummy!"

Her big sister and I both giggle, then laugh out loud. But she's right. To be riding down the wooded road to our favorite park in March, in short sleeves, with windows and moon roof open, singing to our favorite songs, is absolutely delicious.

"It's so sweet!" Rainbow continues. 

It is. So sweet. The fresh air, the taste of spring with hints of summer, the car ride, the sister time.

Flying Rainbow

Day 20 of 31 at TWT!

 "Who wants to fly with you tonight?" This may seem like a strange bedtime, but it's the signal that kicks off Rainbow Girl's special bedtime routine. After we all read a bedtime book in her big sister's bed, Rainbow gives Sis a goodnight snuggle. Sometimes she comes running out to me in the hallway while Husband tucks Sis in, and this question is just the next step. Other times, this question is the switch that coaxes her out of Sis' room. 

Either way, the next step is to choose one of the myriad stuffed animals from her bed. "Boo!" she declares tonight, so I grab The World's Cutest Dog and she burrows her face in him as I scoop her up. Now the real wildness begins. 

I stand up, she stretches out belly-up in my arms. "Whoooosh!" I whisper, spinning her around and flying her a few steps down the hallway. "Whoosh! Whoosh!" I fly her partway through the bathroom door, dipping her in and out several times as she giggles at herself in the mirror. "Whoooooo...." I dip her head down low and spin back around, headed back the way we came, where Husband stands with open arms. (The whole point of all of this is transferring her from me to him; it's just gotten very elaborate!)

"Whooop..." I pull her back away from him, then fly her almost into his arms. "Woo!" But it's a fake-out: back and forth again! "Whoop... woo!" She sing-songs with me. (One night, exhausted, I didn't make these exact sounds and I got an earful! I won't make that mistake again!) 1 more time: "Whoop... whoooosh!" and I finally transfer her all the way into Husband's arms. 

She grabs a section of her hair and starts twirling it around a little finger as she snuggles into him. They head into her room and turn on her night light and sound machine, then turn at the door so I can give her one last huggle. "Nightnie, sweetie pie!"

She leans out from Husband's arms, enthusiastically pointing at the wooden name rainbow sign on her door. Touching each letter with a dainty finger, she proudly reads the letters of her name. 

I wave and blow her kisses as she finally helps close the door. Inside, I know she and Husband are about to start the next routine: songs on the rocking chair, a last snuggle, and her waving sweetly to him as he closes the door.

No matter how the day was, I always end it with a smile after these sweet moments. 

Sweet readers

Day 19 of 31 at TWT!

 Book in hand, Sweetie slides onto the couch, declaratively reading the title aloud. Rainbow Girl scrambles to clamber up beside her, slip-pull-flail-climbing her way to her big sister's side as Sis opens the book and starts to read. 

How amazing. She reads confidently, in mostly fluent phrases, occasionally problem-solving a particularly tricky word or phrase. Incredible. First, we read to her. Then she "read" memorized books to us, and to Rainbow when she was born. Now here she sits, truly reading real books to her little sister. 

As Sweetie reads, Rainbow sidles closer, leaning her small shoulder against Sis. At times, she leans forward, pointing and wiggling a little finger, exclaiming "Who's that?!", patting something on a picture, or reaching out a dainty hand to help turn the page. 

Pages and pages go by, and Rainbow nestles even farther into Sis, starting to twirl a section of hair near her forehead (her ultimate signal of sleepiness and relaxation). 

See the hair twirling? 

She reaches her other arm around Sis, who grins and hugs her back as she keeps reading.

<3 <3 <3!

There's just nothing better than these sweet sisters curled up together with a book... especially now that one can truly read to the other!