Rising strong anyway

Day 6 of 31 at TWT!

Last night I went running instead of blogging. On purpose. I did not write, on only the 5th day of the March Challenge. I chose not to write.

That's a big deal for me, the ultimate perfectionist. To make a conscious decision to not be perfect. I was perfect for the first 3 Marches I blogged. Then, when I was pregnant with my daughter, I was decidedly not perfect. I just couldn't be, for a variety of reasons, and that was hard. However, I did write 14 posts and ended up feeling proud of myself anyway, because it was much better than not trying at all.

The next March, when she was 10 months old, I somehow managed to be perfect again! I have no idea how I pulled that off! It seems so impossible that I actually didn't remember doing it until I looked at my archives today to see how many posts I'd written the past few Marches. Did I seriously blog for 31 days in a row with a baby while still teaching full-time? I apparently did, because there they all are! (Clearly, that whole year was such a whirlwind that I have no recollection of that accomplishment though, so...)

Then there was last year. We won't even talk about last year. 9 posts total, and none in March. (I also didn't remember that until I looked back at my archives... how did I not even manage to write a single post all month?! How on earth did I talk to my students about writing if I wasn't doing it myself? I mean, I know it was a rough time, but yikes!)

And here we are, in 2018. Could I have written a post last night and pushed myself to write every single day this March? Yes, but I chose balance instead.

To write last night, I would have had to miss out on:

• reading and responding to incredible student slices and sending them out for our staff to read
• spending quality time with Little Sweetie before dinner ("Mommy, can we read this book together? Mommy, can you play with me? Mommy, can we snuggle on the snuggle couch and watch Daniel Tiger? ")
• running (and therefore feeling like SuperGirl!)
• a glorious bubble bath after running
• texting my best friend to support him through a challenge, as he has for me so many times
• snuggling up to Husband to scroll through the photos of Sweetie that my mom posted while we were at work
• enough sleep (honestly, this still didn't even quite happen!)

Could I have written, and missed some of that? Yes. Would it have been worth it? No way.

One of my colleagues loves to say that being elite is being the best version of you. In a discussion after school today, he reminded a group of us again that if you are seriously doing everything you can to be your best, then you are working to be elite. It's not about outside markers of success or how you compare to other people. It's about doing your work relentlessly, to be incrementally better every day, not just in one part of your life, but in all the parts that matter most.

So I'm not perfect this year, but I am doing my absolute best. And that's actually better than when I was perfect.

Right now, my best is to make time for writing every day that I can do it without sacrificing something else essential. To avoid the trap of perfectionism and roll all of my "one little words" from the past few years together: to LOVE hard and stay STRONG, ANYWAY, and to RISE in all areas of my life.

Forgetting

Tuesdays at Two Writing Teachers!

I forgot it was Tuesday. Writing day. Slice of Life day!

I don't feel like writing. I'm tired and stressed, and because I forgot what day it was, I forgot to be thinking about writing all day. I forgot to roll writing ideas around in my head as I showered, walked down the hallways, and drove to and from school. I forgot to notice the wispy, glittering hints of writing ideas half-hidden all around me. I forgot to start giving myself pep talks, to remind myself why I write, to sweep out the dark corners of my brain and make room for writing.

So, at 7:30, when I begrudgingly pull my laptop out of my bag and settle onto the couch, committed to keeping my assigned appointment with myself, I am not in a writing mood. I am like a kid staring down a pile of homework.

Strong Jennifer and Frazzled Jennifer start to argue:

If I don't write tonight, I'll have to tell my students next week that I didn't even come close to my goal... again!

But I don't have anything to write about...

Yes, yes I do! Dumb excuse! I have a whole list of writing ideas in Evernote!(scrolling through list of ideas)

  Nope. Not that one, too much work. Nope, not that one, not in the mood. Nope... Nope... Nope... None of these are any good. 

Oh hush, yes they are! There are so many great ideas in there!

Well, all the good ones are too much work. Or they don't match my mood right now.

How about a slice about not wanting to write?

But I've done those before! Who wants to read another one of those?!

Let's put a new twist on it! I can think of a new twist! Besides, they're great for showing kids!

But I'm so sleeeepy! We just finished the first nine weeks! I could take a break this week...

No! No more breaks! It's only part of one evening! There are plenty of other breaks in the week, and if I start writing only when I feel like it, I won't do it nearly enough! I'm forever telling kids how sometimes we have to work even when we don't feel like it! 

But, you know, that one extra stressy thing... IMPENDING DOOM! (gritted teeth and tightness in my neck, for extra drama)

Oh, come on, it's not even that bad. Just one dumb thing. It will almost certainly turn out better than I imagine. And not writing is not going to help. In fact, not writing will make me feel worse! 

Yeah, ok, I know, totally right. But... sleepiness! Snuggly couch! 

If I start right now, I'll have time to relax afterwards! And then I can really enjoy the relaxing, instead of feeling annoyed and guilty that I didn't write when I had the chance!

Oh fine. Here we go. I suppose we can do a new "I don't want to write" one...

(Fingers clicking.
Brain spinning.
Words flying.
Writing.
Playing.)

See, that wasn't so bad, right? Actually pretty fun? And how about this proud, STRONG feeling?!

That's what I don't want to forget.

Seeing the sky

Tuesdays at Two Writing Teachers!

Driving home, after another challenging day in the midst of a particularly arduous couple of weeks, I suddenly saw the sky. Really saw it.

I don't know what I had been seeing for the first half of the drive home -- mostly my mental to-do list tumbling over a blur of barren trees and leftover snow. But then I climbed a gentle hill, swung around a quiet bend, noticed the song change on the radio, or just raised my eyes a little higher... and somehow, I noticed the sky.

A soft, gray blend of light like muted watercolors, melting into brilliant streaks of yellow and orange. Light, not darkness. The days are stretching themselves toward spring just as the trees stretch toward the sky. Beauty and hope.

It was like waking up from a dismal dream, and I realized how easy it is to trudge through days with such a narrow focus, just like I had for the first half of my drive. Testing, paperwork, meetings, and mandates. Lists that grow longer instead of shorter. Tasks like tentacles that drag me away from the joy of planning and teaching. And if I manage to get my mind off of all that, worries that flit through my head with the annoying whine of mosquitoes. How will I possibly do all of this next year, when I can barely do it now?

But just like on my drive home, if I raise my eyes and clear my mind, I can see the sky:

A fun lunch group full of positive colleagues who miss me and ask about me when I have to eat at a different time due to testing. Students whose faces light up when they walk into my classroom. That glorious moment of intense silence that means they really don't want to stop when I ask them to come to a stopping place in their books. Poignant, vulnerable words from growing writers who have learned that their stories matter. Former students who stop by to say hi, borrow books, and tell me that they were talking together about what a good mom they think I'll be. Supportive, caring administrators who go out of their way to help and encourage me. Precious friends who listen closely, understand, and show they care with smiles, texts, and gifts of their time. And at home, an incredibly sweet husband who takes care of me in so many big and little ways.

When I chose my one little word for this year, I was mostly thinking about my own actions. But I see that it's just as important to notice all the LOVE that surrounds me: always there, full of beauty and hope, just like the sky.

Enjoying

Tuesdays at Two Writing Teachers!

"Are you enjoying your time off?" As soon as the calendar flips to June, every teacher is bombarded with this inevitable question from friends, family, acquaintances, and those random people you just met in line at the grocery store.

I think every teacher has a different response.

Some practically shout a resounding "YES!" while letting go of the worries of the school year. Some gush over increased family time and exciting vacations. Others smile with a quick "Yes, but..." and then attempt to patiently explain a few of the myriad ways teachers hone our craft over the summer.

Depending on my mood, I think I've been known to do all three, but as the political climate has shifted, I've tried to do more of the last choice. Since I've been getting more questions prefaced with "I know teachers work a lot over the summer, but...", I'll take a wild guess that many of you have been doing the same!

So, to everyone wondering if I'm enjoying my time "off": Yes, I am, but I'm really enjoying a blend of recovery, rejuvenation, and preparation!

Here's what I'm enjoying this summer:

• playing with new technology and envisioning how it will transform my students' learning
• cleaning and organizing my classroom, which always falls by the wayside
• creating new materials, from digital activities to classroom learning aids
• collaborating with colleagues across my district and outside of it
• sparking new ideas, from nudges to blog posts to presentations
• digging into standards and reflecting on my core philosophies
• pushing my thinking through professional reading, conferences, & workshops
• planning innovative activities and refining past practices
• continuing to encourage students through Goodreads and our blog
• curling up with books and notebooks
• exploring this wonderful world with eager eyes and an open heart
• savoring sweet time with my husband and parents
• and, of course, resting and relaxing, with beautiful treats like this:

Lunch at my favorite summer spot! So much to enjoy with a view like this!

It's been a busy couple weeks of end-of-school craziness, but just writing this post makes me so excited and grateful for all I have to enjoy!

What will you enjoy in your time "off"?

Recipe for Stress Reduction

Tuesdays at Two Writing Teachers!

Teaching is exhausting and inspiring. It cracks your heart wide open and leaves your mind spinning. It has you running constantly on more cylinders than you even knew you had...

and it doesn't leave much room for recharging your batteries.

Even when you try, it's difficult to completely disconnect. Even if you find some downtime, there are students to worry about and new lesson ideas to ponder.

So how can we possibly keep ourselves sane? I found a pretty good recipe over the weekend:

Ingredients:

• wild, rolling, open spaces:

The view from our balcony at Pine Lakes Lodge!

• extraordinary encounters with friendly companions:

At The Wilds, these wild horses wanted to ride along!

At the lodge, Carl the Camel loves to make new friends... especially if they have chips!

• surprising discoveries and hidden secrets:

Who ever heard of a Takin?

The Asian rhinos are elusive and unique!

• a cozy sanctuary wrapped in luscious green and brilliant blue:

The lodge! <3 I didn't want to leave!

• and a step back in time:

Even though Husband gets to see John Glenn more than most people, visiting his childhood home was a treat!

Directions:

Combine all ingredients with a special loved one and mix for 30 hours, far removed from all sources of stress. Breathe deeply and keep your eyes wide open.

thinking thankfully

at Two Writing Teachers!

Awhile ago (actually, a year ago!!!), Michelle wrote an unconventional post about thankfulness, where she reflected on how everyday annoyances are really signs of bigger blessings. Since it's been a crazy and stressful (but wonderful) fall, her idea seemed like the perfect Thanksgiving slice for me this year!

So thanks, Michelle, for reminding me that I have so much to be thankful for... even on the most stressful days!

I am thankful for:

• hours upon hours of work after school each day and on the weekends -- because I have a job that I love and I know it matters
• the extensive time and effort I spend creating lessons, activities, and assessments -- because I have the freedom and flexibility to do what I know is good for my students
• my small, oddly-shaped classroom with no air vents -- because it's my own space, and I can create my own community inside it
• a seemingly incessant tide of SST, ETR, and IEP meetings -- because I know we are getting these students the support they need
• students who stop by at inconvenient times for extra help or to talk about their lives -- because they want to be successful, they trust me, and they believe I can help them
• graduate student observers and researchers who have lots of questions for me to answer -- because it's humbling and exhilarating to influence future teachers
• new students who come with limited schooling and minimal English -- because I can make a difference in their lives
• the very small number of staff members who came to my professional development sessions about supporting ELLs -- because their students will benefit, and they can pass on what they learned
• students with special needs and devastating obstacles in their lives outside of school -- because I can show them that someone cares and challenge myself to find better ways to help them
• only three computers in my classroom -- because three is better than none
• working in a building where some colleagues do not share my beliefs about education and many are inexperienced with ELLs and technology -- because I have the opportunity to be a leader
• hours spent at band practices, meetings, and performances -- because marching band is still part of my life
• all the extra hours my dad has to work right now -- because his company is successful and he's good at his job... and because now I really appreciate each minute I get to see him
• so many invitations to spend time with my mom that I don't get other things done -- because she's amazing and she loves me so much
• when Husband doesn't buy the right thing at the grocery store, or forgets to wash my favorite pants in time for me to wear them -- because he goes to the store, does the laundry, and shows me he loves me in a million other perfect ways
• so many friends who are far away -- because friendship is real when it continues across miles
• cold weather -- because it brings the possibility of shimmering, magical snow
• the ever-earlier darkness each night -- because it lets the Christmas lights shine

A good kind of tired

at Two Writing Teachers!

Lately, I'm barely able to drag myself from the table to the couch after dinner.  Keeping my eyes open until bedtime is a chore.  As soon as I lie down in bed (and get myself to stop thinking about school), I'm sound asleep.

However, it's a good kind of tired.  It's the kind of tired that leaves your heart happy, because you know the work is good.

How good?

1. Just in case my students weren't excited enough about writing for the StoryBox Project, our local newspaper did an article about our work with the project!  My students were absolutely beaming with pride when it was published!  Moreover, one of my former middle school colleagues shared the article on Facebook with a note about how proud she was, and our district ELL coordinator emailed it to all the other ELL teachers with a comment about how special it was.

2. As we're finishing up our StoryBox stories, we're beginning another exciting project: the Global Read Aloud!  Students are loving Out of My Mind so far, and we're excited to build relationships with other classes through our reading.  There's just nothing like the feeling of being part of something bigger than our classroom!

3. So many other little moments that sparkle like grains of crystal in the shifting sand of everyday work:

• The new student who was so proud of being quoted in the newspaper article that he kept pointing at it, saying "That's me!  Right there!" and reading his name.  ("I've only been here for two weeks!!!" he exclaimed.)
• The student who ran in and hugged me yesterday morning because she loved the Get Well card my classes made for her: "It made me feel special."
• The teacher from another building who emailed to say that my students "had good things to say" about me when they babysat for her parent meeting.
• The staff meeting where my principal told everyone about my summer postcards because he was so excited about how I'm working to build positive relationships with my students.
• The middle school colleague who emails every once in a while to say that he's enjoyed one of my blog posts or to compliment me on something I've done.
• The student who stays after school for help with homework nearly every day, and the giggles we usually collapse into at some point while working through a difficult question or attempting to find a creative way to remember a certain concept.
• Furrowed brows and slight smiles during writing time.
• Gasps and sighs and wide eyes during read aloud. (and whining when we stop!)
• Happy sparks in student eyes when they walk into my room, and exclamations of "This class always goes so fast!" when it's time to leave.

Yes, it's a good kind of tired.

Just the right words

at Two Writing Teachers!

At the end of the school day today, I trudged down to the office with some student work to put in teacher mailboxes, my feet and eyelids heavy.  In the span of a week, we've had state ELL testing, parent conferences, and preparations for student scheduling. On top of that, we've dealt with some serious emotions and several social conflicts among our students.

Lately, I've also been struggling with where my students are in their learning.  So many of them have come so far since the fall, but many also still have a long way to go to reach where I want them to be.  With the year more than halfway over, I've been feeling disappointed that we haven't reached the blissful classes full of voracious readers and inspired writers that I was envisioning.  (This is why I have to keep reminding myself to celebrate the small successes!)

Anyway, when I looked in my mailbox after school, I found an irregularly-shaped interoffice mail envelope awaiting me.  Grinning, I knew there was a 99% chance that my mom's handwriting would be on the outside.  Oh boy!  Funny-shaped envelopes from my mom are the best, because she delights in sending me little surprises.  Sure enough, there was my name in her familiar lettering.

First, a neat little collection of various sticky notes in a tiny hardcover notebook! (ooh, she knows how I love sticky notes!) Next, I pulled out a copy of the latest Teaching Tolerance magazine, which has an article and a poster about having a school culture that welcomes and supports ELLs.  On the front, my mom wrote me this note:

That's right, my mom still calls me "Sweet Pea"!

Her words were exactly what I needed to hear.  I am doing it.  I'm making a difference.  I may not be doing it perfectly or even wonderfully, and it might not be going exactly like I'd hoped, but I am "doing good".  As Ruth wrote a few weeks ago, I am enough. Teaching ELLs was my dream because I wanted to change lives, and I am living that dream.  Everything I do every day makes a difference, even if it's small.

Just like that quotation from Galatians 6:9 says, someday I will get that "harvest" if I keep working hard. (In fact, a harvest is really just picking a whole bunch of little plants, and I've already seen some of them ripen!)  When I feel weary, I will pick myself back up and keep going.  I will not give up.

My students need me and I will never truly grow tired of doing good for them.

How do you do it?

at Two Writing Teachers!

Ok superteachers, how do you do it?

You craft amazing lessons.  You love your students and inspire them to grow in incredible ways.

You learn from your colleagues and they learn from you.  And you become friends with them!

You read teaching books.  You read young-adult and children's books to share with your students.  You blog.  You tweet. You write for your students.  And sometimes, you even read and write just for yourselves!

AND you have lives! You go on walks.  You go on bike rides.  You go on trips.  You play with dogs.  You take care of children.  You exercise.  You cook.

I assume that you also sleep at some point.

Just one question: HOW?

There are not enough hours in the day.  Right now, I go to school when it's dark and come home 11 hours later, when it's getting dark again.  Sometimes, I do more work when I get home.  Then I go to bed.  (A reasonable amount of sleep is non-negotiable for me.  Maybe that's my problem?)

I know: I have 3 new preps in a new subject at a new school with a new age level.  It will get better.

But I could use a dose of your super-ness.  Any tips?

Whirlwind

at Two Writing Teachers!

The school year has started!  Today we had the "first teacher day": quotation marks because I've been in and out of school for weeks, as I know many of you have!

For me, today was an exciting and crazy whirlwind of a day: new building, new position, new age level, new colleagues... My head is spinning.  

A few recurring thoughts from the day:

• High schools are BIG.  Really big!
• What was it I wanted to ask?
• Oh, I met that person earlier... (Insert their name OR what they teach, but never both!
• Umm, ok... need to find out what that is...
• Oh dear, I need to add that to my never-ending to-do list!

This was my brain today...

As overwhelming as everything is at this point, I've found some really nice people to latch onto for help.  I discovered I know a few more people in this building than I thought I would.  And everyone keeps telling me how excited they are to have me and how they love my smile, which makes me feel like they're hugging me with words.

I think it will be a good year.  (Everyone keeps telling me this too, which is kind of nice but also somewhat unnerving, as if they're convincing themselves and me.  But that's not necessarily a bad thing; at least they are trying to be positive!)

Tranquila, está bien

at Latinaish.com

Anteanoche no pude dormir.  Me dolía la espalda y muchos pensamientos revolvían por mi mente. Estudiantes que no han hecho sus tareas, problemas tecnológicas, notas y actividades, el próximo año escolar en un colegio nuevo... Y además, hubo una tormenta tremenda con relámpagos brillantes y truenos ruidosos.  Terrible.

Ayer por la mañana, me sentía agotada. Pero Esposo buscaba algo en su iPod mientras yo comí el desayuno...

-- Encontré a esta canción hace unos días y la he guardado para ti para un día como éste. -- me dijo. Y puso a tocar la canción:


Y entonces no me dolía tanto la espalda, y no me sentía tanto estrés.

Le amo muchísimo a mi esposo.

Freeze!

at Two Writing Teachers!

Lately I've been feeling overwhelmed.  Spring Break is a distant memory and Easter celebrations with family turned a long weekend into a short weekend.  I glanced through the slices already posted today and yearned to be some of you who are just now starting or finishing your Spring Break!  Mine already feels as long ago as Christmas.

The normal busy-ness of school has been kicked up several notches in pure it's-almost-the-end-of-the-year-but-not-quite-yet fury.  Close enough to state testing for everyone to start passing around contagious stress, close enough to the end of the year for class time to start being interrupted and eaten away by a million little end-of-year assemblies and events, but not close enough yet to feel like it's just one last big push until we all get to relax.

Not to mention, traveling between rooms makes me feel like I'm running around all day like a chicken with its head cut off. Pack up the cart, roll to the next room, madly run around setting up supplies and passing out papers while answering questions from three different students who want to talk to me while I'm trying to get the class started on their first activity, put away first activity, move on to the rest of the lesson which can finally run like a normal class until it's almost over and I have to clean things up again, pack up the cart while dealing with kids who have something to tell me after class, speed off down the hallway.... and do it all again!  And again.  My head is spinning by the time I finish a couple back-to-back classes!

It's infinitely harder to help students, ask students about missing work, check in with students who need to do retakes and redos, etc. when I have to run around setting up and putting away everything in the midst of the lesson instead of before and after.  I have so many extra little things to do that some days I just look right past the five different sticky notes on my clipboard reminding me to collect missing work and check in with kids.  Plus, I don't get a second between classes to clear my head, take a deep breath, glance at my lesson plans, or remind myself to chat with so-and-so about that assignment, because I'm scurrying off down the hallway with my pieces of my brain bouncing along behind me (or so it feels).

I don't mean to complain.  After all, I am an Outstanding Cart Ninja and I really love my job. (Most days...)  It's just an extra dose of exhaustion and stress that's not there when I have a room.  It's frustrating to not be able to use routines and procedures that would benefit my students simply because there's physically no way to implement them. It's devastating to feel like I'm not the best teacher I could be, that I'm not as free to spend all my instructional time closely helping students, that I'm failing to support my retake/redo/make-up/missing assignment/absent students as much as I could.

Did you ever watch Saved by the Bell?  I totally need that magical ability that Zack had where he could say "FREEZE!" and everyone around him would just stop so he could reflect, fix things, plan his actions, or whatever he needed to do.

Or I need to become less of a perfectionist.  I think I have a better chance yelling "FREEZE!"

Choosing Sunshine

Day 22 of 31 at TWT!

Today was one of those days when it felt, for just a bit, like my house was trying to crush me.  Really, can someone please get me some more hours in the day?  (Please?  My birthday's coming up in May!)  Ironically, I tend to feel stress the most on days like this, when I have "absolutely nothing to do".

The problem with days where I "nothing to do" is that I'm supposed to use them to catch up on all the things I don't do on the busy days.  After all, that's what I tell myself on the busy days: "I'll get to it over break" or "That'll be my project for the summer".  I walk past the pile of laundry that's trying to eat the bedroom, ignore the holiday decorations still out from I'm-ashamed-to-admit-which-holiday, navigate expertly through the obstacle course of school-related items that covers the extra bedroom, ignore the endless box of photos that haven't been labeled or put in albums for years, and collapse on the couch instead of going to the gym. 

These promises I make to myself would be fine, if I kept them.  But when breaks (and "free" weekends) come, they have this incredibly annoying habit of filling up rather quickly.  I go shopping with my mom, I read, I write, I go outside, we travel, I relax and breathe... All of a sudden, it's almost time to go back to school and I've only accomplished about one and two halves of the things I was supposed to do!

And so I freak out.  I do a load of laundry.  I clean the kitchen.  I dive into the holiday decorations and get about half of them back into the boxes.  I finish the vacation plans. (The only task for this break that I started on the first day!)  I feel productive until I look around and see everything I still didn't do:

The laundry is still on the verge of eating the bedroom, there are holiday decorations that remain, the school items are now threatening to spill out of the extra room into the rest of the house, and the photos haven't been touched.  In fact, the photos that are still on the computer are still waiting to be printed so they can collect dust in the already-overflowing box.  And the layer of fat on my stomach persists, because, guess what? I certainly did not go the gym every day.  Or even nearly every day.  Or any day.  (Maybe I will go tomorrow?)

I freak out more.  Why am I still drowning in things to do?

But the sun is shining out on the patio again.  A little squirrel under the bird feeder invites me outside, as if he's saying "This weather isn't going to last!"  I need to blog.  I need to read other slices.  I need to take a deep breath of flowery air and relax.

I decide that those things are important too.  And I'm glad I didn't spend my whole break getting things done.  (This summer, I'll get all caught up...)  Then it wouldn't have been a break.  And I definitely needed a break: a real sun-shiny, family-filled, walks-to-the-park, lounging-on-the-patio break.

So I'm choosing the sun and the squirrel and the flowery air.

Yet Another First Day

Day 5 of 31 at TWT

Today was (once again) the first day of the trimester.  Another weekend of moving out and moving in.  Another night and morning with a pit in my stomach and thoughts spinning through my head:  What would the kids be like?  What would the "personality" of each class be like?  Could I make the rooms work?  Would the technology work?  Could I still function from a cart after being spoiled by having a room for 2/3 of the year?

Another day in a blur of new faces and new names.  More getting to know each other, establishing expectations, and practicing procedures.

Last night, when I was supposed to be falling asleep, I started thinking about first days and how I vehemently dislike them.  (Really, I vehemently dislike the hours leading up to them!)  I realized that I've had a ridiculous number of first days in my short teaching career.  How many? I started counting.

In my first job, I taught Spanish to over a thousand 3rd-5th graders once a week for twelve weeks, changing schools every trimester like I do now.  (Except I also traveled during the day, for a grand total of 6 -- that's right, 6 -- schools per year.)   So really, I had 5 first days every trimester, since I saw the kids once a week and had completely different classes every day.

(5 first days x 3 trimesters) x 2 years = 30 first days in my first two years of teaching.

Then I got my current position, where thankfully I get to see the kids every day (for a trimester)!  So, only 1 first day each trimester.

(1 first day x 3 trimesters) x 3 years = 9 first days in the past 3 years of teaching

Of course, I also taught summer school several summers.  A couple of the years, I had 2 separate multi-week "sessions", and one year I had 2 classes simultaneously.

(1 first day x 2 sessions) + (1 first day) + (1 first day x 2 sessions) = 5 first days in 3 years of summer school


Wow!  30 + 9 + 5 = 44 first days in 5 years of teaching (counting today).  


Astonished, I tell Husband.  He says "Some people don't have that many first days in their whole teaching careers!"

You'd think after 44 first days, I wouldn't get nervous anymore.  You'd think I'd know that the day will go fine, the kids will be sweet and fun, and we'll have a great trimester together.  But I still had to take a deep breath before I shoved my cart into the first room.

And you know what?  It was great.  The rooms are fine, the technology worked, my expert traveling cart skills (a topic for another day!) came back like riding a bike.  Best of all, the kids were sweet little balls of pent-up excitement for Spanish, each class seems to have a good balance of diverse kids, and we had lots of fun getting to know each other.

I'm pretty sure I deserve a nap now!

Cajas, cajas

Day 2 of 31 at TWT!

   

at Latinaish.com

(A note to my fellow "slicers": Every Friday is Spanish Friday!  Please use Google Translate if you don't know Spanish.  Husband uses it to read my Spanish Friday posts, and it does a fairly decent job.  Hopefully it'll do well enough that you can get the gist, since I don't have the time or energy to write this twice!)

Hoy es el último día del segundo trimestre.  Otra vez, el último día con mis estudiantes.  Otra vez, mi último día en esta escuela.  Otra vez, tengo que decir adios y llevar todas mis cosas a la próxima escuela.

(Para los nuevos lectores de mi blog: Las clases que enseño duran por sólo 12 semanas.  Por eso, enseño en 3 escuelas diferentes durante el año: Escuela #1 durante el otoño, Escuela #2 durante el invierno, y Escuela #3 durante la primavera.)

Ha sido un día divertido, con fiestas (mis estudiantes traen comidas de países hispanohablantes), abrazos, y tarjetas de adios (1 de una estudiante y 1 de una clase entera).  ¡Comí tanto que casi no quiero cenar!

Ha sido también un día ocupadísimo, con notas finales y muchas cajas que llenar.  Recuerdo de mi niñez un libro que se llamaba Cajas, Cajas.   ¡Ahora me siento como si estuviera dentro de este libro!  Ya son las cinco de la tarde y tengo rellenadas once cajas y cuatro bolsas grandes.  ¡Pero todas mis carteles todavía están colgadas de las paredes!

Estoy tan casada que quiero dormir... pero hay que continuar.  Pronto vendrá mi esposo para ayudarme, cenaremos, y regresarémos para llevar todas las cajas, cajas, y bolsas a nuestros coches.  Y entonces, dormiré por fin.

Just keep swimming!

For the past week, I've been humming Dory's song from Finding Nemo to keep me going through my transition craziness: "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."  And it worked!  I survived!  Now Thanksgiving break is here and I've never been so glad to see it!  However, I'm much too exhausted to write a "real" post, so that piece on thankfulness is going to wait until next week, after I've had the chance to sit down and be thankful for things!  For now, here's a peek at my past few days:

Friday:
3:30pm: School day ends and the trimester officially does too. (This means my classes and my time at this school are over for this year.  My students will move on to other classes, like gym and art, and I'll move on to another school, where I will provide my classes to those students for 12 weeks.)  I'm sad to see my kids go and sad to leave my colleagues at this school.  I finish grading a few last projects and begin packing up my room.  :-(  I hate packing up rooms; there are so many memories of the community we had and the learning that took place in that community!

view from the front of most of my (now-dismantled) room at School #1

5:00pm: I take a quick break to blog about a special note I got from a student on the end-of-class survey.  Such a great memory; I just had to record it!

5:30pm: Back to packing.  Lots of packing. My back is killing me.

7:00pm: My husband arrives straight from work to help me pack.  We grab a quick 45-min dinner and then head back to school for, that's right, more packing.

8:40pm: We load up both cars and drive away from School #1.  See you next year, School #1, (provided that I still have this job)!  Luckily, School #2 is only about 5 minutes away from School #1!

9:45pm: We finish unloading the boxes into my new room at School #2.  We are both about ready to collapse.  Time to head home.

Saturday
Home football game takes up the whole day.  The end.

Sunday
2pm: After dragging myself out of bed, eating lunch, and showering, I force myself to head back to School #2.  That empty room is calling to me... no way are my kids starting the trimester in an ugly empty void!  My wonderful husband dutifully comes along.  He's amazing!  The new room is just like the old one -- a former science room -- so it's easy to figure out where everything goes.

3pm: We enlist my dad to help move around all the tables in my new room.  (He says, "Can't you just leave it how it is?" but helps anyway.  He's not a teacher.)  I canNOT teach with the desk at the front of the room and the tables in rows facing forward.  (My dad is surprised to find out that I don't sit at my desk.  "You stand up all the time?" Yes, and walk around helping my students. Welcome to education in the 21st century, Dad!)

5pm: Our mad frenzy of unpacking and throwing decorations and important procedural items around the room has to pause for an hour for dinner with my parents. Then back to School #2 for more crazy unpacking, decorating, and preparing.

8pm: The new room is READY!  (At least, ready enough for the kids to come!  My stuff is still all in boxes, but everything they need is up and in its place!)

"superstars" board waiting for students to do something outstanding!

hall passes waiting for kids to come and go

part of the culture corner

Monday
First day at School #2. A blur of new faces, new schedule, new class times... everything is upside down and backwards from School #1.  In a couple of classes, my students mention that my room looks really nice and I must've worked really hard on it.  (They know it was empty in the fall.)  Success!

Today
A little better than yesterday; more of a fog than a blur.  I'm having trouble getting used to the new schedule, and I feel overwhelmed by my students because I only know a few of them.  However, the room is done, the students are nice and sweet and excited for Spanish, and I finally have only a normal amount of work to do after school!  Not to mention... THANKSGIVING!

I don't feel like writing today

It's only 4:40, nice!  I think to myself as I absent-mindedly sing along to whatever's on the radio.  This is the earliest I've left school in weeks.  Nice to have a little break before crazy project-grading madness comes tomorrow!  Too bad the sun's already starting to go down across the cornfields.  This time of year is miserable.  Long shadows stretch over broken-down cornstalks that fly by my window. Oh no, it's Tuesday.  I don't feel like writing today!  I let out a deep breath and lean the back of my head against the seat.  Ugh.  I'm so exhausted and I don't have anything to write about.  I remind myself that I usually get into the writing mood after reading some other people's posts from the Two Writing Teachers community.  But I'm sooooo tiiiired.  I'm whining to myself like a kid.  But if I don't write when I'm tired, when will I ever write?  I've been doing so well since I started this summer...


Fine.  I sit down at the computer when I get home and open up the SOLSC comment link.  Tab after tab of stories I want to read.  I have fun leaving comments and reflecting on posts... But I still don't feel like writing!    The magic fix didn't work today.  I'm only slightly inspired / guilted into writing.  "Well, you won't get much done in life if you only work on the days you feel good," one of my favorite quotations tumbles into my head.  I don't remember who said it and I'm too tired to find out.  True though, here goes nothing...


I open up my blog and here we are!  Not a very insightful or entertaining post, but at least I wrote it!  It's actually a really good connection to Ruth's post from yesterday, now that I think of it!  Sometimes you just have to make yourself write, because that's what writers do!

Next Tuesday (or maybe sooner if I'm really good!) I'll fill you in on the craziness of this week at school for me!  Preview: it involves grading final projects and doing final grades at my current school, tearing down my classroom there, planning/preparing to start over my next school with whole new sets of kids, and putting my classroom back up at that school!  Thanksgiving cannot come soon enough!

Too Many Slices! (or, my reflections on a busy summer as it ends)

So today is slice-of-life day, and I've been excited for that for a few days since I love reading other people's slices and getting comments on my own.  However, when today actually got here, I didn't feel like writing at all.  It's not that I don't have anything to write about... in fact, it's the opposite.  There are way too many things happening in my life right now to be able to step back and concentrate on one in a nice writerly way.

School is looming ever closer, like a thundercloud on the horizon just waiting to drop gallons of busy raindrops on my head.  Don't get me wrong; I love school.  I love planning, getting creative, making fun activities, being with kids, watching them learn and interact and grow, sharing my life and my love of learning with them.  But I don't feel ready this summer.  Maybe I worked too hard during summer school this year.  Maybe summer school just went too late into the summer.  Maybe I did too much optional PD.  Maybe I have so many new ideas and too much of this push inside of me (and outside of me, in the form of "accountability" and "merit") to be a better and better and better teacher that I'm stressing myself out.  Anyway, I feel like I don't want school to come just yet.  Will I be excited and ready to go when it does come?  Of course!  I love school and I love teaching and I love working hard on something.  I just know that when school comes, it's here until next summer, and there's no going back.  I will be spending evenings grading and making materials, waking up in the middle of the night with a new lesson idea I just have to write down before I forget, pondering student performance while I'm eating, driving, showering, working out, cooking, hanging out with friends...

The only problem is that I haven't done all the things I wanted to do over the summer, in my "more time"!  I haven't organized the house, haven't cleaned the house, haven't tried lots of new dinner recipes, haven't scrapbooked or done anything else with my pictures, haven't organized my ELL materials, haven't spent lots of time with friends... My husband and I still haven't even seen the new Harry Potter movie!  And we LOVE Harry Potter!  (Although to be fair, that's the fault of bad timing -- it came out right before we left on vacation and then we kind of forgot about it!)  It's hard to feel refreshed and ready to start a new year when there are so many things I haven't done!

After looking through my calendar and to-do list, I made a Wordle word cloud to capture how I feel right now. It's not a real cloud, but it does show all the things looming in my mind right now.  I guess this is what mid-August is like: "real" school things (like lessons, materials and my room!) are taking over but I'm also still clinging to all the personal, social, and PD things I feel summer should be about.


Although, now that I think about it... I did accomplish a lot this summer.  Maybe I should focus on what I have done:  I learned about a lot of new tech tools and how I might use them in my teaching, learned a lot about Antarctica with my ELLs and used a class blog for the first time in summer school, starting reading lots of teacher blogs that have already helped me grow tremendously, joined a gym and started exercising regularly with my husband, and started this blog!  I also had a fun and relaxing vacation with my husband!  We played at lots of band events and became co-chairs of the Active Band committee.  I made my first professional presentation, as you know if you read the previous post.  I spent some fun times with my family and friends: the zoo, the fair, the Irish Festival, a Brad Paisley concert, and dinners and lunches out.  Despite all the busy-ness, I even managed a couple of relaxing, stay-in-my-pjs days too!

So I guess it was a good, productive, fun summer -- maybe too much productive and not quite enough fun, but productive is important too!  I think I could be almost ready for school now... it's feeling more like a mysterious new "front" of weather than a thundercloud.  I bet it'll bring some sun and a balmy breeze by the time my alarm goes off on Friday morning for our first teacher workday.  (Ok, maybe not when my alarm goes off, but at least by the time I'm driving to school!)  Until then, I'll be trying to squeeze in some last bits of fun and relaxation. (And just a few of those school things, even though I know they'll be here soon enough anyway!)

P.S. Funny how I wrote a lot for someone who didn't feel like writing!  I guess sometimes we all need to give up those excuses and just write anyway!  After all, I do love to write... just like I do love to teach!

"Back to the Beach"

I just got an email advertisement entitled "Back to the Beach" from the hotel chain we stayed at on our vacation last week.  And man, do I wish I could take them up on it and go!  Not really for the actual beach, although that was fun and lovely... but for what happens at the beach.

At the beach, I left my "school mind" behind.  I became the rest of myself again.  This may seriously have been the only week all year that I did not think about school.  At all.  I did not wake up in the middle of the night with a lesson idea.  I did not have to run for a notepad as soon as I got out of the shower because my mind had wandered to a new activity I just had to try.  I did not lie in bed before falling asleep with my mind running wild with students, lessons, technology, teacher evaluation, Senate Bill 5, projects, colleagues... etc.  I laid down and I fell asleep.  Then I woke up and went to the beach, had dinner, went shopping, walked along the beach at night, listened to the ocean... and fell back asleep again.  And again.  For days.  With no school thoughts.  Then we went to Charleston, SC and it continued!  A carriage ride, an ecotour, restaurants with "Old South charm", the aquarium... all without any school thoughts!  Amazing... but really the wonderful part was what I thought about instead.  With no school thoughts, my mind was free to rediscover who I am when I'm not busy being a teacher.

I am a reader.  I had already begun to rediscover this during the summer when I found all those exciting teaching blogs I wrote about in the last post.  They re-kindled the love of reading that I lost somewhere along the way in college (especially grad school), when I had to read a million books for my classes and the last thing I wanted to do was pick up another one in my free time.  When I was a kid, I was the Tasmanian Devil of reading.  I tore through books, devouring the characters, the plot, the imagery in every delicious sentence.  I'd curl up with a good book after school for hours and be so engrossed in it that my mom would have to call me for dinner 3 times... even though I was right in the next room!  She would bring a clothes basket to the library to carry all the books I'd pick out for a week and then we'd rush back for more.  I'd get all the prizes for the summer reading program before the summer was half over and keep going back with my list of books (it always ended up around 115 or so) to get the stickers anyway.  When I hit middle school, I ran out of books I wanted to read at my city's library and we started going to the neighboring city's library, which was a little larger.  (My reading level as a child was so advanced that it created problems because I read all the young-adult books in elementary school and then had trouble finding enough adult books that interested me in middle school.)

Sadly, I always feel now like I don't have time to read for fun during the school year, or I'm too tired, or the mesmerizing box of the TV pulls me in with its DVR tentacles. (There's always something good to watch because we record all our favorite shows!)  And while the TV shows we watch have a lot of the same elements I like in books -- captivating plots, intriguing characters, new ideas to learn about -- it's not the same as turning pages, picturing what's happening for myself in my head, and becoming totally lost in another world.   Some people might be able to read a book while watch a show, or read a book and still feel that they are spending time with their family, but I get so absorbed in books that I completely ignore everything else -- another excuse not to read, because I don't want to ignore my sweet husband every evening!

image: Amazon.com

However, at the beach all the excuses go away -- the lack of time, the school things tugging at my brain, the DVR, the fact that at home I only get to see Ryan for a couple hours each day.  My mind is free, the day is free, we spend it all together, and there is plenty of time to sit together and read with the ocean's pounding waves soothingly lulling me into a state of complete relaxation.  This year, I got really into one new book in particular: Ines del alma mia, by Isabel Allende.  It's fantastic, captivating, and I got totally lost in it, just like when I was a little kid.  The Spanish (I love to practice my Spanish by reading, although it is hard work, so I always read the Spanish versions of books by Hispanic authors) is a little challenging for me but it's been a good stretch.  It's historical fiction, which is probably my favorite genre, and it tells a rarely-told part of history: women who worked with the conquistadors to found South America.  Ines Suarez was the real-life lover of Pedro de Valdivia who helped him found Chile in the 1500's, and the book is written as her memoir.  The historical accuracy and personal tone completely make you forget that Ines is not really the author!  An absolutely fantastic read (check out the English version if you like historical fiction!) that, thanks to the beach, gave me back the gift of myself as a reader.  

The "school things" are already tugging at my mind again, but I think the beach is trying to tell me not to let my "teaching self" devour the rest of me this year.  My "music self" has managed to survive every year thanks to OSU Alumni Band practice every other Monday, but I'd like to keep around my "reading and writing selves" too.  Hopefully, this blog will let the writer come out every once in a while, and I guess we'll see about the reader!  I think I must need a sense of calm to really feel like reading a substantial book (especially in Spanish), and that doesn't tend to happen much during the school year.  Perhaps I can make an appointment with myself every once in a while, or something.  Can the little blonde girl with glasses who curls up on the couch and journeys off to far-away lands that make it hard to return for dinner come out to play?